Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Dude, Where's the Talent?


1) Rudy Cardenas ('Free Ride,' by the Edgar Winter Group) - Rudy's performance reminded me of that recurring nightmare I've been having lately, where I go to a friend's wedding and am forced to be a backup singer to the world's worst wedding band. Now I know who to picture as the band's lead singer. And his name is Rudy Cardenas.

2) Brandon Rogers ('Rock With You,' by Michael Jackson) - Have you ever gone on a date with someone who you've thought was totally cute and had potential of being boyfriend material, but then you kiss them at the end of the night...and you feel nothing?

Yeah, that's how I felt about Brandon's performance.

He's pretty...but there's no love connection here.

Not anymore.

3) Jason 'Sundance' Head ('Nights in White Satin,' by the Moody Blues) - Ugh.

Just ugh.

4) Paul 'Barefoot' Kim ('Careless Whisper,' by George Michael) - Brutal.

Just brutal.

Seriously dude, where are the talented people?

5) Chris Richardson ('I Don't Want To Be,' by Gavin DeGraw) - Slightly awkward. Slightly adorable. And better than the last two.

The whole dress just like Justin Timberlake in a suit thing is a bit tired, but I'll forgive Chris. Because he is pretty. Very very pretty.

6) Nick Pedro ('Now and Forever,' by Richard Marx) - I hate this song. I really f*cking hate this song.

I couldn't even tell you what I thought of Nick Pedro's performance, because I was so overwhelmed with hate for this musical equivalent of Velveeta Cheese.

7) Blake Lewis ('Somewhere Only We Know,' by Keane) - Now this is a song (and a performance) I can get behind.

Who knew that the beatboxing menace would turn in the first moderately decent performance of the night?

I certainly didn't.

8) Sanjaya Malakar ('Knocks Me Off My Feet,' by Stevie Wonder) - Quiet.

Too quiet.

9) Chris Sligh ('Typical,' by Mute Math) - I respect my Christian brethren as much as the next agnostic homo. But here's the thing...if you are performing "live" in front of America for the first time on the Idol, don't pick a Christian Rock song. It doesn't do you any favors.

But that whole making fun of Simon for subjecting the world to Il Divo and the Teletubbies? That shit was priceless.

10) Jared Cotter ('Back at One,' by Brian McKnight) - Forget Brandon Rogers.

Jared Cotter is my new boyfriend.

He seems VERY nice. And moderately talented.

He's also managed to turn in a relatively interesting performance by singing one of the most boring songs ever written. You have to respect him for that bit. Right?

11) A.J. Tabaldo ('Never Too Much,' by Luther Vandross) - Acceptable.

Nothing special.

He's never going to win, but he did better than most of the other boys tonight.

Then again, that's not saying much.

12) Phil Stacey ('I Could Not Ask For More,' by Edwin McCain) - I find Phil Stacey strangely off-putting. And I don't know why. Maybe it's because he looks like Mister Clean? Or Lex Luthor? Or Britney Spears?

Frankly, it doesn't matter who Phil Stacey reminds me of...I'm just kinda done with him.

judge jru votes

Even if I could have voted for the boys, I don't think I would have. There wasn't a single performance that made me want to pick up the phone. And that scares me a little bit.

Here's to hoping that the ladies bring a better game tomorrow night...

judge jru predicts

Paul Kim, Rudy Cardenas, and/or Jason 'Sundance' Head are goners. Probably.


Anonymous William said...

So Chris Sligh's song was a christian rock song????....But I think it was a smart move...those red state boy and girls vote...I actually liked his performance the best. It had something all the other boys lacked, sincerty and personality...(well the beatboxing boy was good, but his voice was a little shaky and he sat down through his song)

11:07 AM  
Blogger kjl said...

I'm with William...I had no idea that was Christian rock and I really liked the performance. Beatboxing boy was also very good, and I actually thought Phil's performance ended pretty strong. I will admit he's rather "unique" looking though. I certainly didn't care for any of the other performances much, although I didn't think barefoot boy was quite as bad as some. However, I do so wish he'd put his shoes on!

11:25 AM  
Blogger Idol said...

We think what Chris Sligh said to Simon about Il Divo and the Teletubbies was classic. However, in true Simon fashion he fired back.

We think Chris Sligh will do well in this competition with the Fro Patrol backing him.

The SQA Crew

3:28 PM  
Blogger Doug said...

Am I the only one that thinks that Chris Richardson is the identical twin of actor Bradley Cooper? See

10:31 PM  
Blogger Rich - aka Professor McNutt said...

Phil Stacy = Gollum. I can provide a graphic if needed.

10:21 AM  
Blogger Mike said...

I cant believe Sanjaya made it through the top 12. He doesn't have the talent..his a dry performer..

6:29 PM  

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