Tuesday, January 23, 2007

One Hour Only!

My apologies for the lateness of my "live" blog yet again, I was verybusy eating.

Anyhow, let's get on with it...


judge jru's "live" blog of the third episode of the Idol

8:00 pm - It's only one hour tonight! This is the first and only time I'll ever be thankful for President Bush 2 - Electric Boogaloo.

8:01 pm - WoooooOo Memphis! How long before the show mentions Elvis?

8:01.1 pm - Oh look, there's an Elvis impersonator walking the streets! That qualifies as Elvis mention #1, right?

8:02 pm - We have a cheerleader in the form of Frank "Frank-N-Beans" Byers!

8:03 pm - Frank seems fine, but he's never going win.

8:04 pm - And since the judges don't put him through, he can't.

8:05 pm - Simon's got sand in his va-jay-jay! Again!

8:08 pm - And we're back...

8:09 pm - ...with 'Mika?

8:10 pm - Is it time for President Bush yet?

8:11 pm - Blondie Christopher Rivera sings like an O-Town reject. Maybe he should join LMNT...if they're still around.

8:13 pm - Meet Jason "Sundance" Head. He's the son of Roy Head. The man that brought us the classic "Treat Her Right."



That's one cool dad, eh?

8:14 pm - Ok.



Sundance is the NEW Taylor Hicks. Except better. Much better.

8:16 pm - And Simon agrees with me!

8:18 pm - Did we really need to know that there is only 115 days until "Shrek The Third"? Thanks TV for filling my mind with useless knowledge! You really are the best invention ever...

8:19 pm - ...unlike my Direst TV DVR. Did I mention how much I hate it? Seriously dude. It's the worst.

8:20 pm - Elvis mention #2.

8:22 pm - Emotional Travis McKinney is superCrazy.

8:24 pm - Danielle McCulloch is the NEW Kimberly Caldwell. Only better. Slightly better.

8:26 pm - Missi Pyle alert! Missi Pyle alert!

Missi is in some new "quirky" David E. Kelley show about wedding planners that happen to be sisters.

I enjoy her, but not enough to suffer through that mess.

8:32 pm - There was absolutely no way, Topher McCain (his wife wanted to "mess around"), was someone that needed to be featured on the Idol. Bad Idol Producers! Bad Boys!

8:37 pm - Faux homeless/Faux Jesus/Faux Osama bin Laden dude, Sean Michel, made it to Hollywood? Really?



I can't wait for his makeover. It'll be the only awesome thing about this dude. Swear.

8:44 pm - The scared little titmouse known as Melinda Doolittle (aka: the professional backup singer) is genius.



I love her story. I love her voice. I love her attitude. She is special. In a good way.

I watched her audition three times in a row.

She is seriously the cutest little titmouse. Ever.

8:46 pm - Elvis mention #3. Boring!

8:47 pm - Faux Elvis (Robert Lee Holmes) is hot and smokin'...but NOT in a good way.

8:54 pm - Whew. We're almost done.

8:56 pm - Bald New Dad Philip Stacy starts off a little shaky...

8:57 pm - ...and finishes a little less shaky. And then he starts his second song off shaky...

8:58 pm - ...and finishes with a golden ticket to Hollywood.

8:59 pm - And tonight's episode ends with the very bald Philip Stacy seeing his new not-so-bald baby girl for the first time (he was busy waiting in line for the Idol, when his wife delivered the surprisingly hairy baby...remember?).

Worst. Dad/Husband. Ever.

Seriously.

9:00 pm - The Idol's in New York tomorrow. How exciting for all of us!


UPDATE: More MySpace stalking is availible at the always reliable and resourceful DeathByCamera...including this slightly unsettling picture of boy band wannabe Christopher Rivera:

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