Wednesday, January 24, 2007

NYC still scares me

Tonight's excuse for the non-live "live" blog: I was on a blind date with someone who talked about how he was looking for someone who was on a "spiritual journey." Seriously.

Anyhow, let's get on with it...

judge jru's "live" blog of the fourth episode of the Idol

8:00 pm - When I was a young college graduate, I had to make a big choice. Should I move to New York City or Los Angeles? I had been to New York multiple times and it scared/overwhelmed me, so I moved to Los Angeles (a place I'd never been before) instead.

The thought of spending two hours in New York City now (even through the magic of the Idol) still scares me a bit...but not as much as people who enjoy "spiritual journeys."

8:02 pm - Carole Bayer Sager is the guest judge for this episode!

Wait... mean this woman?


Uh...that's exciting for who exactly?

8:04 pm - Speaking of things that scare me...Ian Benardo is one of them.

He's gay and outrageous...

...and awful!

8:09 pm - Meet Sarah Burgess. She defied her father's wishes and showed up for an Idol audition.

She also likes to cry. A lot.

8:12 pm - And she's going to Hollywood.

8:13 pm - Why is Sarah going to Hollywood? Just so we can watch the Seacrest force Sarah to call her dad and tell him the news.

Sarah doesn't have the voice to make the the Top 32, so my guess is that this will be the last we hear of her.

It was nice knowing you Sarah! Maybe we'll see you on MySpace!

8:15 pm - "Stomp the Yard" trailer alert! HOT.

8:18 pm - I didn't order this Constantine Maroulis flashback. Can I send it back for a plate on spanakopita instead?

8:20 pm - Ashanti Johnson returns to the Idol.

For a third time.

She sings "Lovin' You."

But the feeling isn't mutual.

See ya Ashanti!

8:31 pm - I'm blaming Paris Hilton for the duo of New Jersey "hotness" known as Antonella Barba and Amanda Coluccio.

8:32 pm - Amanda (part one of the duo of "hotness") bores me.

8:33 pm - Antonella (part one of the duo of "hotness") doesn't.

8:42 pm - Dude plays a harmonica on a pier. I blame Taylor Hicks.

8:43 pm - Dude with the harmonica (Clifton Biddle) is from my home state of Delaware. Don't blame me.

8:44 pm - Oh Clifton. You have soiled the state of Delaware. May you be forced to work to work in the local Playtex factory for the rest of your natural born life.

8:46 pm - Cute Lil' Kia Thornton is adorable.

And soulful too!

I could do without her Freddy Krueger nails.

Who does she think she is? Flo Jo?

Girl...those talons need to go!

8:55 pm - And we're back for Day Two.

Including Carole.

Do we really need her again?

And no Simon?

8:56 pm - Oh wait.

Who needs Simon when you have Jenry Bejarano?

I just wish Jenry wasn't 16 years old.

Because that makes me feel more than a little uncomfortable.

Let's just say he's adorable.

I can say that? Right?

That's not a creepy thing to say? Right?

Seriously dude. Paula and I both need to be careful with this one.

8:58 pm - Nakia Claiborne is a superCrazy ball of megaCrazy.

9:01 pm - And unfortunately (or fortunately) for those of us that live in Hollywood, Nakia will not be sharing that MegaSuperCrazy with the West Coast.

9:03 pm - Oh look. More crazy.

Did we really need any more tonight?

9:07 pm - And Simon's back. Is it possible that I missed Simon for the whole 12 minutes he was?

9:13 pm - What's a Canadian (Jory Steinberg) doing on here? I don't care that she lives in Santa Monica now. I don't care that she sings Tina Arena well. She Canadian! She should be hanging out with Kalan Porter! Not Simon, Randy, and Paula!

9:17 pm - The Idol solidier known as Porcelana Patina is superCreepy.

9:18 pm - AH! She's coming to Hollywood! Look the windows, Sister Ru! Lock the doors, Cousin Jimmy! Go hide in the storm cellar, Dorothy Gale!

9:24 pm - The judges can't pronounce ethnic names montage would be funny...if I wasn't so distracted about Olivia Newton-John showing up for that Ping/Pong/Phong bit. Shouldn't she be on a different network?

9:26 pm - Where's Jenry?

9:27 pm - I miss Jenry!

9:29 pm - Opera singer Rachel Zevita is so funky that she's stuck a dreamcatcher in her hair! That's right. Rachel's got a dreamcatcher in her hair. What are you gonna do about it? You can't do anything about it, because Rachel Zevita is going to Hollywood!

9:32 pm - Why is that bitch from "Ugly Betty" in an Olive Garden commercial???

9:35 pm - FILLER ALERT! Yet another thing we don't "All Night Long" montage featuring an Asian drag queen dressed up as Dorothy Gale.

9:38 pm - Chris Richardson is the NEW Elliott Yamin. Only cuter.

Much Cuter.

9:46 pm - Meet Nicholas Pedro. Or actually meet him again. He "bowed out" last year for not being able to remember the lyrics to "Build Me Up Buttercup" during the group round in Hollywood.

9:48 pm - And unlike Ashanti Johnson, Nicholas is getting the chance to go to Hollywood again. Nicholas seems like a fine, upstanding young let's hope he does better this time around, eh?

9:53 pm - And we're almost done!

9:54 pm - The Idol producers clearly want Julie "Call Me Isadora" Furman to be the new Mary Roche. But I'm not buying it.

9:58 pm - Oh look! There's Jenry again! Isn't that exciting for everyone?

9:59 pm - And we're done.

10:00 pm - See ya next week in Birmingham, Paula!

And as for Carole...enjoy spending your Idol guest judge money on even more plastic surgery a woman your age shouldn't be getting!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is the name of the song Antonella Barba sang?

12:34 PM  

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