Monday, January 08, 2007

judge jru's Best o' 2006

So here it is...as promised...a week late...


judge jru presents
THE VERY BEST OF 2006


BEST IDOL RELATED SONGS OF 2006

1. “And I’m Telling You (I’m Not Going)” – Jennifer Hudson

Are you surprised? In the year of Jennifer Hudson, I was required by law to place this song at number one…so I did. That said…what’s not to love about J-Hud? She went from Idol also-ran to Oscar front-runner in the span of a year.

I would love to sit here and gloat about how predicted J-Hud’s return to grace back in her Idol days, but the truth of the matter is the thing that makes J-Hud so great (her larger than life theatrical vocals) was the very thing that kept me from loving her on the Idol.

I know now. And that’s all that matters.

2. “Baby Makin’ Hips” – Fantasia

Fantasia + The Word "Baby" / Embracing your womanhood = Genius

3. "Extra Ordinary Love" - Darin

Mega-Pop Producer (and judge jru crush) Max Martin teamed up with Swedish Pop Icon (and another judge jru crush) Robyn to create this bit of pop delight about a boy who offers a girl love. It's not regular love though. It's not ordinary love. It's EXTRA ordinary love. And what is not to love about that?

4. "Go" - Kelly Clarkson

Even when the Clarkson sings a jingle for Ford, it is still full of awesomeness.

5. "Who Am I" - Will Young

A Pop Idol has an identity crises and tries to find himself in song. I shouldn't care, yet I do.

6. "Before He Cheats" - Carrie Underwood

How did I miss this song when I listened to this album last year?

How did I not know that Carrie had this kind of dynamic performance in her?

How is it possible that I have become a Carrie Underwood fan?

7. "All Time Love" - Will Young

In 2005, I was a Will Young hater. In 2006, I've become a Will Young lover.

And NO...not in THAT way...even though he creates beautifully wistful over-the-top romantic pop ballads, Will is too wispy for me to want to have sexytime with.

8. "Will You Remember Me Tomorrow" - Margaret Berger
Elegant Norwegian Girl Pop.

Who could ask for more?

I couldn't.

9. "Gloria" / "Happenin' All over Again" / "This Time I Know It's For Real" - Young Divas

I put these three songs on the workout mix on my iPod about a month ago and my workouts have never been the same. Every time these songs come on, I run/bike/elliptical machine faster. They're like gay speed for your ears...or something.

10. "It's Not Over" - Daughtry

I shouldn't like this song. It's a standard, loud rock power ballad that is indistinguishable from any other "modern rock" hit of the past ten years. I'd like to say that I like the songs natural progression or the chord change at the bridge. But here's the thing...I like this song because I have a giant mancrush on the boy that is singing it.


WORST IDOL RELATED SONGS OF 2006


1. "Do I Make You Proud" - Taylor Hicks

Painful.

2. "My Destiny" - Katharine McPhee

Even more painful.

3. "The Lie" - Nikki McKibbin

Seriously dude, could it get any more painful?

4. "Broken Wings" - Clay Aiken

Oh wait. It can.


BEST NON-IDOL RELATED SONGS OF 2006


1. "Crazy" - Gnarls Barkley

I know. Who didn't name this song as the song of the year? But here's the thing...this is a song that everyone loves. Including me.

2. "Maneater" - Nelly Furtado

I loved Lilith Fair Nelly, but I love slutty hip-hop Nelly even more.

3. "Set Fire to the Third Bar" - Snow Patrol w/Martha Wainwright

This song haunts me in my sleep. In the good kind of depressing way.

4. "Everything's Just Wonderful" - Lily Allen

According to my iTunes, I played this song more than any other song in 2006.

Why?

Because it's f*cking awesome.

5. "Here (In Your Arms)" - hellogoodbye

Gay Dance Song sung by straight boys. It's more amazing than it sounds.

6. "Wolf Like Me" - TV on the Radio

I loved this song...and then I saw the video starring Naima (from "America's Next Top Model" - Cycle 4) as a werewolf...and I loved it even more.

7. "Only A Fool" - Marit Larsen // "Break You" - Marion Raven

Marit and Marion used to be friends. They used to sing together. On Radio Disney. They were called M2M. Then they disbanded. And I was sad.

Until...

They started releasing solo material that was a thousand times better than the sugar-sweet music that they made together.

8. "Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me" - The Pipettes // "Tears Dry On Their Own" - Amy Winehouse

British hipsters make sweet sweet retro music that even your mother can love.

Added bonus with Miss Winehouse, she's an incredibly entertaining hot mess.

9. "SOS" - Rihanna // "Beware of the Dog" - Jamelia

"Tainted Love" and "Personal Jesus" are probably two of my favorite songs of all time, so when beautiful black women take them and turn them into pop songs for the 21st Century...well, I can't control myself. I have to like them.

10. "Midnight" - Bertine Zetlitz // "Lose You" - Linda Sundblad // "With Every Heartbeat" - Kleerup w/Robyn

Bertine, Linda, and Robyn are all funky pop princesses that are big deals in the land of blonde people known as Sweden and Norway. Unfortunately, no one really knows about them in the States...and that's a crying shame.


BEST NON-IDOL RELATED ALBUMS OF 2006

1. "Alright, Still" - Lily Allen



2. "Oh My God!" - Linda Sundblad



3. "Return to Cookie Mountain" - TV on the Radio



4. "Under the Surface" - Marit Larsen



5. "Back to Black" - Amy Winehouse



6. "The Italian Greyhound" - Bertine Zetlitz



7. "Ben Kweller" - Ben Kweller



8. "Begin to Hope" - Regina Spektor



9. "Loose" - Nelly Furtado



10. "We Are the Pipettes" - The Pipettes



11. "These Streets" - Paolo Nutini




BEST IDOL & NON-IDOL RELATED MOVIES OF 2006


1. "Children of Men"

I don't want to say too much about this movie, because I don't want to hype it up before you see it. All I really need to say here is...

Go see it.

Right now.

It's really verygood.

2. "Volver"

Penelope Cruz's performances in American movies always make me feel uncomfortable, because her perky performances remind me of that aggressively chirpy bird that sits outside your window and wakes you up at 5 am. However, in "Volver," Penelope goes from bird to woman.

Forget Jennifer Hudson for two hours (but only two hours), the real woman you are going to love is Penelope.

3. "Pan's Labyrinth"

Don't be fooled by the fact that this movie's main character is a young girl or that it features fairies that flit about. This picture is a beautiful nightmare-ish fairy tale for adults to enjoy. Children stay away.

4. "The Queen"

Helen Mirren is going to win the Oscar this year. See this movie and you'll see why. She is one hot ass queen.

5. "The Departed"

Martin Scorsese makes a movie about violent people. And it kicks ass in a bigger and better way than any other movie Mister Scorsese has made...except for "Taxi Driver," "Raging Bull," and "Goodfellas."

6. "Quinceañera"

An independent film about a girl who gets pregnant even though she claims she didn't have sex, her gay cousin, and their elderly uncle (a street vendor). And it's co-directed by the man that made "Dr Jerkoff & Mr. Hard."

It's really much much better than it sounds.

7. "Dreamgirls"

When I originally began to compile this list, "Dreamgirls" was sitting high atop this list. Then I paid 25 dollars to see the movie...and I enjoyed it a lot.

But here's the thing...the movie felt like it was holding something back...I wanted more.

More Effie (the world needs more Jennifer Hudson).

More Deena (other than her last act I-am-woman-hear-me-roar song "Listen," Miss Beyonce had nothing to do).

And more explanation as to why Jamie Foxx was such a douche (he's ruthless...I get it...but I need to know why, Mister Condon).

So yes, "Dreamgirls" is a lovely movie...with memorable songs, dazzling costumes, and spectacular performances...but at the end of the day, it's no "Chicago."

8. "The Descent"

Six women enter Mother Earth to crawl around in her tunnels. They discover monsters and blood along the way.

9. "Little Miss Sunshine"

A dysfunctional group of white people take a hilariously wacky road trip across the country and along the way, they discover the true meaning of family.

It's also much better than it sounds...although it's not quite as good as that "Quinceañera."

10. "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan"

In high school, I was called a "dirty Jewish bastard" by a classmate who ended up getting kicked out for stealing from his best friend. The whole incident wasn't funny.

But when a British Jew gets dressed up in a bushy mustache and takes on the persona of an Anti-Semitic Eastern European? That shit is funny.


RUNNERS UP
- "Thank You For Smoking"
- "Cars"
- "V for Vendetta"
- "Stranger Than Fiction"
- "Severance"
- "Notes on a Scandal"


MOVIES I STILL NEED TO SEE (SO THE ABOVE LIST MAY CHANGE)
- "Notes on a Scandal
- "Half Nelson"
- "Babel"
- "Deck the Halls"


WORST IDOL & NON-IDOL RELATED MOVIES OF 2006


1. "X-Men : The Last Stand"

Brett Ratner kills the best comic book movie franchise ever.

2. "A Prairie Home Companion"

Virginia Madsen's character is a what now?

Really???

3. "Miami Vice"

Pointless.

4. "BloodRayne"

Even more pointless.

5. "Ring of Darkness"

I'm stretching the rules on this one a little bit. This movie went direct to DVD in 2004, but I didn't get around to watching it until this year. It stars the Idol 1's very own Ryan Starr...as well as Adrienne Barbeau and Hobie from "Baywatch." Did I mention it's about an evil Boy Band?

It's really much worse than it sounds.


BEST NON-IDOL RELATED TV SHOWS OF 2006

1. "Dexter" (Showtime)

2. "The Office" (NBC)

3. "The New Adventures of Old Christine" (CBS)

4. "30 Rock" (NBC)

5. "Project Runway" (Bravo) // "Top Chef" (Bravo)

6. "The Closer" (TNT)

7. "Heroes" (NBC)

8. "Kath & Kim" (Sundance Channel)

9. "South Park" (Comedy Central) // "American Dad" (Fox)

10. "America's Next Top Model" (The CW)


BEST NON-IDOL RELATED POP CULTURE BLOGS OF 2006

1. "FourFour"

2. "Pop Justice"

3. "Go Fug Yourself"

4. "Oh No They Didn't"

5. "Idolator"

6. "Popwatch"

7. "Stereogum"

8. "Kevipod Music"

9. "Popbytes"

10. "Towleroad"

2 Comments:

Anonymous Rich said...

You're way too good to me.

Otherwise, nice lists!

10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude! Darin is the Shit!

10:50 AM  

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