Tuesday, January 30, 2007

It's late. I'm tired. And bored.

Tonight's excuse for the non-live "live" blog: I was hangin' with the homos.

Anyhow, let's get on with it...

judge jru's "live" blog of the fifth episode of the Idol 6

8:00 pm - Birmingham, Alabama. Really?

8:01 pm - The Mayor of Birmingham, Alabama. Boring!

8:02 pm - Birmingham, Alabama. Is it time for Hollywood, yet?

8:03 pm - Blondie Erica Skye sings "Unchained Melody." By LeAnn Rimes. Really?

Are you sure about that honey?

Nothing bugs me more than ignorant pretty girls.


8:06 pm - Baby voiced Katie Bernard makes me very uncomfortable.

Grown women with baby speaking voices (and strong singing voices) make me think that they used to live in bad places.

8:13 pm - Teeny Tiny Tatiana McConnico is very enjoyable.

She is wicked adorable, talented, and her sister (or friend) looks just like Danielle from "America's Next Top Model."

8:16 pm - Diana Walker. The one that wears only one pink glove.

She reminds me of one of these:

Is that wrong? It feels wrong.

8:21 pm - Bernard Williams II seems nice. Forgettable, but nice.

8:23 pm - What's going on with that yellow fluffy thing?

The last time I checked...Big Bird wasn't a sassy black fifty year old woman.

8:26 pm - Mandy Moore alert! Mandy Moore!

Why do I love her so?

I fear there may be something wrong with me.

8:29 pm - ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzzz. Is it time for bed yet?

8:30 pm - The blonde with the paralyzed dad (who shot himself) has way too many holes in her jeans. In all the wrong places.

8:31 pm - The blonde with the paralyzed dad (Jamie Lynn Ward) is the new Kellie Pickler. Only less talented. And not quite as adorable.

8:34 pm - Curly haired, Jack Osbourne-a-like Chris Sligh is funny. And he kinda reminds me of Meat Loaf. In a good way.

He's also dry. Like wine. In a good way.

8:40 pm - Paula is missing...because of "family" obligation.


8:41 pm - It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Crystal Gayle!

Only not.

8:50 pm - I have so little to say about this episode...that it hurts me. It hurts me in my "special areas."

8:51 pm - Pageant girl Nichole Gatzman (of "Team Nichole" fame) didn't seem that bad. I would have let her go on to face disappointment in Hollywood...but I guess that's just me.

8:52 pm - Meet Brandy Patterson. She talks through her teeth.

I was done with her...before she even started.

8:59 pm - And we're done. Thank G-d.

9:00 pm - Seeya tomorrow in LA!


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