Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Thank G-d/Yahweh/Allah for Katharine!

THE TOP THREE OF THE IDOL 5


ROUND ONE - CLIVE DAVIS' PICKS


1) Elliott Yamin ("Open Arms," by Journey) - Elliott is one eager puppy.

Vote for ME!

Pet me!

Feed me!


2) Katharine McPhee ("I Believe I Can Fly," by R.Kelly) - I hate this song!

Like POISON!

What was Clive thinkin'?

He is one Hot Ghetto Mess!

And so is Katharine!


3) Taylor Hicks ("Dancing in the Dark," by Bruce Springsteen) - Does Taylor practice the facial expressions he makes in the mirror before he goes on stage?

Because if he did...he would have at least 49 years of bad luck.


ROUND TWO - JUDGES' PICK

1) Elliott Yamin (Paula chose "What You Won'’t Do for Love," by Bobby Caldwell)
- Nice, but forgettable.

Just like Elliott.

Let's be honest...if Elliott didn't have the whole diabetes/deaf in one ear/raised by a single parent/nice Jewish Boy from Virginia thing going on, we all just wouldn't care.

(Or at least I wouldn't.)


2) Katharine McPhee (Simon chose "Somewhere Over the Rainbow," by Judy Garland) - She's sitting on the stage floor again? Really?

Oh wait.

This is good.

Really good.

I'm not sure I'm down with the Norah Jones arrangement.

But the McPhee is good.

What happened?

I think Katharine has a chance of winning this thing.

This is very exciting.

Next week, might actually be exciting.

WooOOoooOOoOOoooOOo!


3) Taylor Hicks (Randy chose "You Are So Beautiful," by Joe Cocker) - How has Taylor lasted this long?

The Soul Patrol is crazier than the Claymates!

BUT at least Clay was awkwardly interesting and not just awkward.

The world already has one Michael McDonald.

We don't need another.


ROUND THREE - CONTESTANTS' PICK

1) Elliott Yamin ("I Believe to My Soul," by Ray Charles/Donny Hathaway)
- Fine vocal performance...if you like your soul served over easy.

I don't. I like mine hardboiled.


2) Katharine McPhee ("I Ain't Got Nothing but the Blues," by Ella Fitzgerald) - Loved Katharine's short black dress/black boot combo.

And I enjoyed her performance too.


3) Taylor Hicks ("Try A Little Tenderness," by Otis Redding) - ofcoursehechosethissong.

AND...

ofcourseihateditlikepoison.

blam.



who judge jru would have voted for

Elliott. Katharine. Katharine. Katharine. Katharine.


judge jru "predicts"

Taylor.

PLEASE?

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually Kat's Over the Rainbow... is almost a carbon copy of Jane Monheit's better version. I was wondering when she was finally gonna whip that out since from day one, Kat looks and sounds like Jane (well, almost)... But Kat really did a great job with it.

Taylor is just a friggin spaz. Everytime he yells Soul Patrol, America's many mental institutions are reserving him space.

2:40 AM  
Anonymous mcd said...

OK... here's the thing to ponder for next week.

If each of them got 33% of the vote,
then who will Elliot's 33% vote for when he's out?

I think Katherine should pick up more from the undecideds... of course, she needs to see that her treatment of a great ballad is what people want from her most.

9:09 AM  
Blogger dale said...

OK... here's the thing to ponder for next week.

Actually, I'm left wondering what the likelihood that the votes were split in that convenient proportion was. Rocker Chris gets dumped, and his votes go where? Oh, evenly divided, sure, that makes sense.

Although I still stand by my prediction on this very blog that a male will win, I really wonder what they're going to do with Taylor. He doesn't seem "tailor made" (heheh) for success. Popular, yes, in the "that could be me" performance category, but I don't know that you buy someone's album based on identifying with their lampshade on the head behaviour.

We'll have to see, though.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Kristen said...

Ok- it is really mean to say that the only reason E fans vote for him is his insulin pump and that he's deaf. That is NOT the case. I have been a fan since day 1, before we knew his story. Just because he has an endearing story of overcoming odds doesn't mean that's why we voted for him. Look at Kellie Pickler. She played the daddy's in jail thing out, but she didn't stay very long, did she?

Elliott was classy, sensitive, and most of all, talented. Period. He deserved to be where he was, and he most certainly should have stayed over Katharine. She's McFULLOFHERSELF. She is anything but flawless. How she messes up and Elliott is flawless- then he goes home is ridiculous. Let's not forget what her face looked like when Elliott's name was called...She had a stupid smile plastered on her face, and was practically giddy- no, she was giddy. No class. Her family has no class either, because her mom was beaming too. I understand they were happy, but Taylor and his family at least had the decency to be upset for the poor guy.

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are such a freakin' moron. Seriously, you need writing lessons and a good slap across your ugly mug.

11:13 PM  

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