Tuesday, May 30, 2006

People Pay Real Money to buy THIS?

So I finally got my hands on the new American Idol "Encores" CD...and so I feel it's my judge-ly duty to share with you all...my track-by-track review.


AMERICAN IDOL 5 - "ENCORES" CD


1) "What About Love" - Melissa McGhee

Not as bad as one might think.

I thought I even liked Melissa's singing...and then I remembered that Melissa is simply a poor man's Jessica Sierra.


2) "Superstition" - Bucky Covington

Bucky's rendition is worse than bad.

It's mediocre.

And that's a whole pile of dull-ness that I just can't get behind.

If you want an awesomely bad rendition of this song...look no further than the soundtrack to that Disney "hit"/theme park ride, "The Haunted Mansion."



It really doesn't get any better than that.

G-d bless Raven-Symone and her red onesie. She truly is God's gift to tweens (and homos like me).


3) "I'm Every Woman" - Mandisa


Take any big-voiced sassy black woman who sings in her church choir on Sunday and stick her in a recording studio for a day...and you'll get something way better than this.


4) "Wanted Dead Or Alive" - Chris Daughtry


Did you ever wonder what Bon Jovi would sound like if the band was fronted by the former lead singer of FUEL?

Thanks to Chris and the people over at Idol...we don't have to wonder any more.


5) "Father Figure" - Ace Young

At least he's pretty.


6) "Takin' It To the Streets" - Taylor Hicks


Here's a little Idol Proof for you math folks/Gwyneth Paltrow fans out there:

IF

(Lame * 1000) = MegaLAME

THEN

Taylor Hicks = MegaLAME


7) "Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I'm Yours)" - Lisa Tucker


With her cutesy pageant-y style and strong vocal chops, Lisa Tucker had the potential to be the new Diana DeNoNo.

Instead, little Miss Tucker sounds like she should be added on as the senior member of the American Juniors.



See?

She TOTALLY fits right in!


8) Walkin' After Midnight - Kellie Pickler


There are only so many different ways to say "This Sucks."

And right now, I've run out of options.


9) Moody's Mood for Love - Elliott Yamin

Elliott's vocals on this track = GOOD

The decision to sing THIS song on the Idols CD = BAD


10) Think - Katharine McPhee


Remember when I said that I grew to like Katharine McPhee?

Yeah...I was an idiot.


11) Midnight Train To Georgia - Paris Bennett

Paris is the only Idol 5 contestant that is 100 percent judge jru approved.

She can do no wrong in my book.


And since I'm such a giver, you can click on the link below and enjoy get a copy of Paris' song for your very own!




12) When I Fall In Love - Kevin Covais

I didn't waste my time listening to all of this track...and I won't waste your time with it either.


judge jru's overall impression of "Encores"

Download the Paris track...and then wait for her album.

As for the rest (with the exception of Elliott and Chris)...just let them go...just like you did with AJ Gil, Charles Grigsby, Lindsey Cardinale, Rickey Smith, Leah Labelle, and all the rest.

You won't miss a thing.

Promise.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Paris track. She's the best.

6:59 AM  
Blogger MunaiM_NET said...

LOVE Paris. To use a Pauler expression, love love love her.

The rest are just meh.

I spent 03:19 minutes laughing at Raven-Symone.

4:15 AM  

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