All Shook Up

THE TOP 4 OF THE IDOL 5
Theme: Elvis Presley/Tommy Mottola night


ROUND ONE

1) Taylor Hicks ("Jailhouse Rock") - Can someone PLEASE stop this bitch from dancing?

PLEASE!

I'll pay good money.

Yo Jeff Gillooly! Where are you when we need you?


2) Chris Daughtry ("Suspicious Minds") - The sideburns are back. Just in time for Elvis week!

Ofcoursetheyare.

As for Chris' performance? I liked it MUCH better than his sideburns.


3) Elliott Yamin ("If I Can Dream") - Boring!

Technically proficient...but soulless.


4) Katharine McPhee ("Hound Dog"/"All Shook Up") - Good...until the bit where she forgot the words.

Then...it wasn't so good.



ROUND TWO

1) Taylor Hicks ("In the Ghetto") - I prefer Cartman's version.


2) Chris Daughtry ("A Little Less Conversation") - Chris sang about how he needed someone to "satisfy" him.

Um...Chris?

Not that I'm propositioning you or anything...but...uh...I know a certain self-appointed fourth judge of the idol that would be more than happy to help you out with that whole "satisfaction" problem you got going on...


3) Elliott Yamin ("Trouble") - Elliott simply tries too damn hard. I love him for it...BUT there is just no way that he is going to be "allowed" to win the Idol.

He's the guy that tries harder than anyone else...but always ends up finishing second...third...or fourth.


4) Katharine McPhee ("Can't Help Falling in Love") - Uh...I even prefer the A*Teens version over Katharine's scholarship pageant performance.

The whole thing was so not hawt.

Like not hawt at all.


judge jru votes

Chris. Because I'm shallow. And he's hot.


judge jru predicts

Katharine.

Or maybe Taylor?

Even though Taylor has never been in the bottom two, a boy can still dream...a boy can dream...



ONE more thing...

What was up with the whole "we're going to ignore the fact that Tommy Mottola enslaved Mariah Carey for the first half of her career" bit?

I didn't care for that.

I didn't care for that at all.