Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Queen of the Night

THE TOP EIGHT OF THE IDOL 5
(THEME: QUEEN NIGHT)


1) Bucky Covington ("Fat Bottomed Girls")
- I've finally realized who Bucky reminds me of. He's that lead singer from Nickelback...Chad Something-Or-Other.



Just imagine the wacky mistaken identity hijinks that Bucky and his real identical twin could into with that dude!

It'd be hilarious!

And by hilarious, I mean...lame.

As for Bucky's performance? Not only was it rough around the edges...it was rough in the middle too.


2) Ace Young ("We Will Rock You") - Let's be honest. Ace showed off his arms this week in his little intro package. And as expected, they were...uh..."very nice." That's gotta earn him at least one more week.



Right?

After the Mandisa incident, the homos gotta vote for someone.


3) Kellie Pickler ("Bohemian Rhapsody") - Well...it wasn't as big a disaster as I was expecting.

But that's not saying much.

Frankly, Kellie's performance made me nostalgic for that Idol bleat-er known as Carmen Rasmusen.

I wonder what crazy blonde Mormon is up to...

Here's the thing...I can't find out...because her official website has been "suspended."

Hey Carmen...if you are reading this (I know...fat chance):

"Please contact the billing/support department as soon as possible."

Thanks!


4) Chris Daughtry ("Innuendo") - Chris continues to be hotter than Ace...even if he continue to FUEL everything that moves.


5) Katharine McPhee ("Who Wants to Live Forever" from the movie 'Highlander') - Who sings the Queen song from 'Highlander'?

What was she thinking?

The Queen song from 'Highlander'?

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY?

Gurrrrrl, you have lost your ever lovin' mind!



6) Elliott Yamin ("Somebody to Love") - Eh.


7) Taylor Hicks ("Crazy Little Thing Called Love") - Someone needs to call up John Lithgow and have him come down to the Idol soundstage...dressed in his Reverend Shaw Moore ensemble (from "Footloose")...and decree that Taylor is not allowed to dance.

ever.

again.


8) Paris Bennett ("The Show Must Go On") - Paris reached deep into her suitcase of hair and came out with some crazy Janet Jackson hairpiece for her performance of "The Show Must Go On."

I loved the new 'do, but...

I wished the Clarkson was singing the song.



judge jru votes


Ace...a couple of times...just to see his arms again. And then Chris...but only once.


OK...the Idol 5 officially sucks big phat donkey balls. I'm voting for these two guys just because I think they are hot. That is some sad ass shit!

I've got no one to root for. No one! I find myself not caring about who is going to win this whole thing.

If Chris wins...that'd be cool. If Paris wins...that'd be cool. And if someone else won, I wouldn't care that much.

Even Taylor would be fine.

Something is clearly either wrong with me...or the show. But right now, I'd like to think it's the show.

Sigh.


judge jru predicts


The One with the Twin, The One with the Nice Arms, or the One that sang the song from 'Highlander.'

OR maybe...just maybe...the country slut.

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