Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Kenny Roger's Roasters

THEME: Country Night (Kenny Rogers Night)

1) Taylor Hicks ("Take Me Home Country Road," by John Denver) - Um...maybe it's just me...but no one likes it when you speed up a John Denver song to the point that it sounds manic.

It's like Country on Speed.

And I don't think the Idol's should do drugs.

That's simply not a good message to send to the kids, Taylor.

That's right...I'm talking to YOU!

2)Mandisa ("Any Man of Mine," by Shania Twain) - Blah.

We all know how I feel about Mandisa now.

I can't be trusted with this one.

3) Elliott Yamin ("If Tomorrow Never Come," by Garth Brooks) - How has this one become my favorite?

Elliott is fine...but he's not all that.

And if this is the best that the Idol 5 has to offer...well, I'm starting to worry that I just might not care so much about the show anymore. I might be kinda done. Don't worry. I'll make it through to the end of the season...but unless someone really turns their shit around...I don't know if I can make it through another season.

4) Paris Bennett ("How Do I Live," by Trisha Yearwood) - Thank God Paris didn't dig through her suitcase of hair to find a "country" hairstyle this week...because I couldn't have taken another bad hair day from the Paris. It was getting to be a little much. Let's stick to Paris' real hair...because the fake kind just ain't workin' for me.

As for the actual performance? It was totally eh.

5) Ace Young ("When I Cry" "Tonight I Wanna Cry" by Keith Urban) - At least he's pretty.

6) Kellie Pickler ("Fancy, by Reba McEntire) - I'm still not buying what Kellie is sellin'.

She just ain't that FANCY.

7) Chris Daughtry ("Memories of Us," by Keith Urban) - I don't like Chris when he's all tame and shit. It doesn't work for me.

It might be just a little dull.

8) Katharine McPhee ("Bringing out the Elvis is Me," by Faith Hill) - Roboticly perky.

9) Bucky Covington ("Best I Ever Had," by Gary Allen) - Lame.

I seriously think I might have passed out in the middle of this performance.

And that can't be a good sign for anyone.

judge jru votes

Uh...do I have to vote? If I have to...I vote for Elliott. But I don't wanna. So I'm not gonna.

judge jru predicts

I get the feeling that we might be saying goodbye to Ace...

And if not Ace, then Bucky...and if not Bucky, then Mandisa.

I don't know. I just don't care that much right now.


Anonymous Alison said...

hello my darling judge jru--
i just wanted to let you know the song ace sang is called "tonight i wanna cry" by keith urban, not whatever you wrote.
i gotta say your blog is the only thing i look forward to on wednesday mornings. i love it!

8:15 AM  
Anonymous pistachio said...

Well since you wanted to vote for Elliott and didn't, he almost got kicked off the show. C'mon dear judge jru, a little dialing won't hurt your fingers. :)

8:48 PM  

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