Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Flattery is the Greatest Form of Humor

THE TOP 7 OF THE IDOL 5**
(THEME: Rod Stewart Night)

**Father and Mother Ru are in town, so I apologize for the semi-late posting.


1) Chris Daughtry ("What A Wonderful World") - Before I talk about Chris' performance, I need to take a time out and address a disease that has been affecting Chris. The obsessive eyebrow tweezing/waxing/threading disorder known as "brow-rexia" has struck the Idol 5's resident rocker. And it's struck him hard.

If there are Idol-ites out there that have access to Chris, stage an intervention! PLEASE! The facial man-scaping of Chris Daughtry has GOT to stop!

As for Chris' performance...for the first time ever...he resisted the urge to FUEL it. And it worked!


2) Paris Bennett ("Foolish Things") - Classy. Elegant. Powerful.

Even Paris' hairpiece was appropriate...BUT I can't say the same about her ensemble.

The Pink Suit was a little too Jet Pink for me.

However, if I had my druthers, I'd fly the friendly skies with Miss Bennett.

Anytime.


3) Taylor Hicks ("You Send Me") - Father Ru can't get over just how old Taylor looks. He's actually very excited that they've opened up the Idol to members of the AARP.

So next year be on the lookout for Father Ru.

He.

Will.

Blow.

You.

Away.


4) Elliott Yamin ("It Had to be You") - As Father Ru pointed out, poor little Elliott really is not much to look at...but at least he has a decent set of pipes.

Too bad his performances are about as exciting as watching the latest episode of the 'hit' ABC television series, "What About Brian?"


5) Kellie Pickler ("Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered") - Did Kellie get botox? Did she get a new haircut? Or did she send out a blonde version of V.I.C.K.I. in her place?

The Country Slut just didn't look quite right tonight. She didn't sound quite right either.

Father Ru put it best...when he said, "I'm just bothered and bewildered...NOT bewitched."


6) Ace Young ("That's All") - I didn't care for the unfortunate Marian the Librarian harido...the unneccesarily large shoulder pads...or the song.

And who lied to The One With the Very Pretty Arms and told him it was a good idea to sing a song called THAT'S ALL???

I know a certain someone who is just BEGGING to get voted off tomorrow night...


7) Katharine McPhee ("Someone to Watch over Me") - Father Ru likes Katharine...despite her "lumpy tush."

And frankly, so do I.



judge jru "votes"

Paris. Chris. Katharine.


judge jru predicts

It's gotta be Ace this week.

He just ain't that pretty to keep around another week.**

RIGHT???


**(If not Ace, either Elliott or Kellie.)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not gonna lie. I was EXTREMELY upset that the Idols did not cover Rod Stewart songs. When I heard earlier in the week that Rod Stewart would be with the Idols I was so pumped and ready to hear Forever Young, Maggie May, Do Ya think Im sexy, and Tonights the Night. I was SOOOO pissed to hear them sing lame songs. Is anyone else with me? I am tired of this lame "songbooks".

10:38 AM  
Anonymous Elliot's #1 Fan said...

I think it should be Ace or Kellie. Neither of them are good, they haven't been good, and they never will be good. Ace is a pretty boy fag, and Kelli is as you say a country whore who pretends to be stupid...please America....vote one of them two off tonight, and get Elliot out of the bottom three!!!

1:28 PM  

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