Friday, April 28, 2006

Paula and MJ - Separated at Birth?



Or maybe they just use the same plastic surgeon.



CLICK HERE to see all the "evidence."

What's Wrong With Me?

So I have something to admit to you all...

There might be something wrong with me.

I am currently enjoying not ONE but TWO Will Young songs.

And by like, I mean they are in heavy rotation on my iPod. I've listened to them at least five times each today.



Seriously.

I am enjoying the lisping wonder that won the very first season of Pop Idol.

(For those of you still not in the know, you might remember Mister Young as that British twit that sang about the sweetest feeling and high mountains on the season finale of the Idol 1.)



I know. I know. I used to have massive homo shame for this man.

An outbreak that recurred on more than one occasion!


But now...I've taken the time out of my VERY busy life to listen to Will's latest album, "Keep On." And with the exception of the first single ("Switch It On"), the CD is chock of full of awesomely cheesy pop goodness.



Don't believe me?


Take a listen for yourself....



Try 'em!

Once you get past the lisp and the vibrato, you'll like him too!

Swear!

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Awww...Kellie's Grandpa is Nice!

According to some mysterious Idol spy that posts on ONTD, the following bit is what you didn't see after Idol went off the air last night:

In case you missed it, lastnight everyone's favorite blonde Kelly Pickler was voted off American Idol and unless you were there this is what you missed:

Kelly never lost her composure.

She joked about how she knew she was leaving because she heard her ringtone from her performance.

After a couple of more jokes she said "Oh Lord, you want me to sing? Are you serious?'

After she was done Simon said "Why didn't you do it like THAT lastnight?!" The difference was incredible, she really nailed it.
Kelly went to the Judge's table and they did the normal hugging and "your going to do great" routine.

Paula told Kelly "You have no idea how many people, how many studios want you!" and Kelly's reply was a wide eyed "Really?"
Kelly then explained to the judges "You have no idea, we're kept in this American Idol bubble, we don't really know whats going on in the outside world!"

She told Randy she hopes her roller skates from flippin' burgers were parked for good. Not that Sonic was bad or anything she just hopes its past her.

Simon then joked with her about her performance she just gave versus the one from the night before.

The other idols appeared to take it worse than Pickler was. She continued to wave and smile at fans and the audience was released.

Backstage was fairly split. Many were happy that she was booted, based on singing talent but also explained they would miss her "funness" and "personality"

I heard a lot of "I just feel really bad for her grandpa, he's such a sweet guy" As opposed to last week when Ace got the boot there were a fair amount of people who were pretty choked up. (Last week it seemed as if every girl under 13 was crying their eyes out)

Didn't catch the THEME for next weeks IDOL? Rumor has it the theme is, if you can call it a theme is Songs from the year the contestants were born. Each contestant will sing TWO songs and there will be video clips from them growing up, clips from friends and family and each contestant will sing a song from the year they were born and the year they graduated. It is supposed to be an intimate Idol. NO WORD ON THE GUEST CELEB NEXT WEEK....


This "person" didn't even spell Kellie's name right...which might indicate that this report is far from reliable...but thanks to IM, no one can spell anymore...so I'm gonna say that all of the info featured in this report is 100 percent true.

And if judge jru says it's true, then it's just like the Gospel...right?

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Paula's Jewels

Just when I thought I couldn't love FourFour more, he has to go off and post this business:



A-MAZING!

Ding Dong The Bitch is Dead!

WHAT JUDGE JRU LEARNED ABOUT AMERICA BY WATCHING THE TENTH ELIMINATION EPISODE OF THE IDOL 5

America hates no talent country sluts.



Bye Kellie! We definitely won't miss you!



THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO SHAPE UP
(aka: the other one in the bottom two)

Paris.

Seriously, be careful!

Chemical Imbalances are FUN!

The Malcontent has a kick-ass montage from the latest episode of "Paula Abdul's a Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown."



CLICK HERE to enjoy the salty wet pile of crazy.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Love is Blind (but it's definitely not deaf)

THE TOP 6 OF THE IDOL 5
(Theme: Love Songs with the Blind Italian Man and the Stepfather of the Princes of Malibu)


1) Katharine "Flat Boobs" McPhee ("I Have Nothing," by Whitney Houston) - Katharine decided to pull out all the stops this week...by dressing in Big Bird Yellow and performing the song as DRAMATICALLY as possible. It was like she was on an episode of "The Starlet," trying to convince the very prestigious Faye Dunaway that she could ACT.

Katharine, I know that you don't want to hear it...but...

Don't call us...we'll call you.


2) Elliott "Love ME" Yamin ("A Song for You," by Donny Hathaway) - Every week, I watch Elliott's performances...desperately trying to think of something funny, witty, and/or exciting to say. And every week, I just feel like "Eh." There is nothing inherently wrong with Elliott, except that he's a little dull and earnest. He wants you to love him. A lot. And I just don't.

(And as for the whole Paula crying bit...well, that's a whole pile of crazy that I'm just not ready to deal with.)


3) Kellie "Cowboy Barbie" Pickler ("Unchained Melody," by the Righteous Brothers) - Is "House" on yet?


4) Paris "I don't have love thoughts" Bennett ("The Way We Were," by Barbara Streisand) - Lovely. Adorable. And finally, Paris has great hair.


5) Taylor "Andrea Bocelli called me INTERESTING" Hicks ("Just Once," by Quincy Jones/James Ingram) - Stick a fork in me...I'm done...with the Michael McDonald bullshit-iness that is Taylor Hicks.


6) Chris "I have no taste because I like Bryan Adams" Daughtry ("Have You Really Ever Loved a Woman," by Bryan Adams) - Guess who is back to FUELing everything he touches?

That's right. It's Chris Daughtry!


judge jru votes

Paris. She made me enjoy a song I hate like poison.


judge jru predicts

Elliott? Katharine? The Country Slut? Taylor? Chris?

Even Paris could go and I wouldn't think twice about it.

Is that wrong of me?

Has the Idol 5 officially and irreversibly jumped the shark?

Discuss amongst yourselves.


I'll be in the other room...watching "So NoTORIous."

Catfight!

Paula and Ryan are the NEW Krystle Grant Jennings Carrington and Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan!



Why do you ask?

Just check out this story from People.Com:

Ryan Seacrest & Paula Abdul's Feud Heats Up

Although American Idol host Ryan Seacrest often trades barbs with judge Simon Cowell, now the tension between him and another judge, Paula Abdul, has reached a boiling point.

"It's awkward. I don't know what the deal is. It's very awkward," Seacrest, 31, told PEOPLE on Friday, referring to his relationship with Abdul.

Asked if he was speaking to Abdul, Seacrest answered: "No."

Seacrest, who was in Las Vegas at a groundbreaking event for the new luxury Panorama Towers, said he hasn't yet confronted his fellow Idol cast mate. "You know, I walked past her dressing room the other day and there was a group of people gathered in front of the door, so I can't even talk to her. Simon and I go back and forth with each other, but it's in a different way."

A source close to Seacrest says the Idol host was joking about the feud. But another inside source tells PEOPLE that Seacrest and Abdul’s relationship has been “icy” since they each appeared separately on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno recently.

In Seacrest's March 30 appearance, Leno said that Abdul had seemed "a little loopy" on a recent episode of Idol to which Seacrest replied, "Well, have you listened to her album?" When Leno playfully asked whether Abdul had been drinking, Seacrest answered, "Hey look, I don't look in their cups to see what's sitting before them on that table. But at times I feel like we have reeled her in."

Abdul, 43, had a chance to shoot back when she appeared on the show on April 10. Leno brought out an issue of Rolling Stone magazine that featured the three Idol judges prominently on the cover (and Seacrest in a small photo) and asked whether Seacrest was mad about being excluded. "I heard plenty mad," replied Abdul.

Next, Leno asked whether Seacrest was dating Teri Hatcher since the pair had been photographed kissing. "He only kisses the mirror," said Abdul. "And honestly, do you think Teri Hatcher is that desperate of a housewife?"

In the weeks after Abdul's Leno appearance, Seacrest frequently approached the judges' table during Idol commercial breaks, but usually spoke only to Cowell and Randy Jackson.

Abdul could not be reached for comment.

Baby V is in a NEW movie!

It's called "STILL GREEN," and the Idol 4's very own Vonzell Solomon plays the pivital role of "Record-Store Clerk."

Here is a picture of Baby V with one of the film's producers...



Click here
to read the full story.


For those too busy to click on a link, here is the most interesting bit of the story: The production van gets burglarized and endangers the entire production!


The whole thing sounds low buget.

EXTREMELY low budget.

But then again the Verraros' film debut "EATING OUT" was extremely low budget...and NOW they are making a sequel, "EATING OUT 2: SLOPPY SECONDS."

Who's in for more Verraros?

I know I am!

Monday, April 24, 2006

The Best Idol Related Gay Dance Song of 2006?

Remember Amanda Avila?



The Las Vegas Showgirl from the Idol 4 that didn't make it to the top 12...but got awfully close?

She never impressed me that much during her time on the Idol, but she has been doing a lovely job on "Reality Remix" AND she recently teamed up with the folks that produced RuPaul's latest album to "lay down some new tracks."



The resulting song, "Free Yourself," is availible for your listening pleasure on Amanda's MySpace music profile.

For a gay dance song, it's pretty good (and better than K-Lo's latest). It sounds like the type of music that Mandisa should be making...if she didn't hate the homos so much.

So click on over to Amanda's MySpace and take a listen.

It won't hurt that much.

Swear!

Sunday, April 23, 2006

50 Dollar FacePurses really are very hip!

I have no words for this:









No.

Words.

K-Lo is the NEW Helen Slater

My favorite Idol 2 contestant, Kimberley Locke, has released a new single...entitled "Supawoman."

Check out Kimberley's official My Space profile to take a listen to the full song.





While it's no "8th World Wonder," the song isn't half bad...but it's not all good either.

It's verylate, so I can't formulate a full opinion on Kimberley's new direction...but maybe it'll grow on me...but somehow...I doubt it...but you never know...but...I...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

American Idol is...

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Bo Bice = Not So Bright

Who tries to punch an ex-NFL football player in a NYC pub?

With people around?

Honestly!


I don't have a good picture of Bo to post...so instead, here is a picture of Kelly Clarkson...on the beach...in a bikini...eating a hot dog.



HOT!


(Pic via WWTDD)

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

That's All Folks!

WHAT JUDGE JRU LEARNED ABOUT AMERICAN FROM WATCHING THE NINTH ELIMINATON EPISODE OF THE IDOL 5

America hates pretty boys with a bare minimum of actual vocal talent.



Bye Ace!



We'll miss your arms!


THE TWO THAT BETTER SHAPE UP NEXT WEEK
(aka: the other two in the bottom three)


Paris and Chris.

PLEASE be careful guys!

The "DIVAS" of the Idol 5...

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Flattery is the Greatest Form of Humor

THE TOP 7 OF THE IDOL 5**
(THEME: Rod Stewart Night)

**Father and Mother Ru are in town, so I apologize for the semi-late posting.


1) Chris Daughtry ("What A Wonderful World") - Before I talk about Chris' performance, I need to take a time out and address a disease that has been affecting Chris. The obsessive eyebrow tweezing/waxing/threading disorder known as "brow-rexia" has struck the Idol 5's resident rocker. And it's struck him hard.

If there are Idol-ites out there that have access to Chris, stage an intervention! PLEASE! The facial man-scaping of Chris Daughtry has GOT to stop!

As for Chris' performance...for the first time ever...he resisted the urge to FUEL it. And it worked!


2) Paris Bennett ("Foolish Things") - Classy. Elegant. Powerful.

Even Paris' hairpiece was appropriate...BUT I can't say the same about her ensemble.

The Pink Suit was a little too Jet Pink for me.

However, if I had my druthers, I'd fly the friendly skies with Miss Bennett.

Anytime.


3) Taylor Hicks ("You Send Me") - Father Ru can't get over just how old Taylor looks. He's actually very excited that they've opened up the Idol to members of the AARP.

So next year be on the lookout for Father Ru.

He.

Will.

Blow.

You.

Away.


4) Elliott Yamin ("It Had to be You") - As Father Ru pointed out, poor little Elliott really is not much to look at...but at least he has a decent set of pipes.

Too bad his performances are about as exciting as watching the latest episode of the 'hit' ABC television series, "What About Brian?"


5) Kellie Pickler ("Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered") - Did Kellie get botox? Did she get a new haircut? Or did she send out a blonde version of V.I.C.K.I. in her place?

The Country Slut just didn't look quite right tonight. She didn't sound quite right either.

Father Ru put it best...when he said, "I'm just bothered and bewildered...NOT bewitched."


6) Ace Young ("That's All") - I didn't care for the unfortunate Marian the Librarian harido...the unneccesarily large shoulder pads...or the song.

And who lied to The One With the Very Pretty Arms and told him it was a good idea to sing a song called THAT'S ALL???

I know a certain someone who is just BEGGING to get voted off tomorrow night...


7) Katharine McPhee ("Someone to Watch over Me") - Father Ru likes Katharine...despite her "lumpy tush."

And frankly, so do I.



judge jru "votes"

Paris. Chris. Katharine.


judge jru predicts

It's gotta be Ace this week.

He just ain't that pretty to keep around another week.**

RIGHT???


**(If not Ace, either Elliott or Kellie.)

There is NO Accounting For Taste

Can someone please tell me how the Country Cyborg went TRIPLE PLATINUM already???



Seriously?



SERIOUSLY???



(pics via ONTD)

Monday, April 17, 2006

Drama Queen.

Queen Guitarist Brian May is a whiny bitch.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Bucky is a Gracious Loser...

Well...um...ok...maybe not so much.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Russia hearts Trenyce!

Friday, April 14, 2006

The Trouble With Essence

According to TMZ.com, the Seacrest might have stirred up a little trouble in the Ace-Man's world...



Ace's supposed girlfriend, Essence, is so angry over the fact that Ace didn't correct Ryan when he refered to Ace as "single" that she has run off to Mexico...just to "clear her head."

Poor Essence...maybe her "Half & Half" co-star Rachel True can get together with Neve, Robin, and Fairuza and cast some kind of love spell.

That'd be sure to work!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

But I Don't Wanna go to Irvine!

The Clarkson is going on tour again this summer!

Unfortunately, her only stop even remotely close to LA is Irvine.

That's right. Irvine.

Uh...no thanks.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Bucky Goes Bye-Bye!

WHAT JUDGE JRU LEARNED ABOUT AMERICAN BY WATCHING THE EIGHTH ELIMINATION EPISODE OF THE IDOL 5

America hates country-rock boys that are GIANT hicks that refuse to enunciate.



Bye Bucky! We won't miss you, because we didn't really want you around in the first place!



See ya!


THE TWO THE BETTER SHAPE UP NEXT WEEK
(aka: the other two in the bottom three)

Ace and Elliott.

Careful!


And while we're at it...can someone please tell me how the Country Slut has managed to avoid capture week after week?

Seriously!

I need to know her secret!


And don't tell me it's all Vote For the Worst's fault...I refuse to believe that they have such a giant active voting population. Bitched up, jaded slackers that watch the Idol don't vote...even if they say they do.

Swear.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Queen of the Night

THE TOP EIGHT OF THE IDOL 5
(THEME: QUEEN NIGHT)


1) Bucky Covington ("Fat Bottomed Girls")
- I've finally realized who Bucky reminds me of. He's that lead singer from Nickelback...Chad Something-Or-Other.



Just imagine the wacky mistaken identity hijinks that Bucky and his real identical twin could into with that dude!

It'd be hilarious!

And by hilarious, I mean...lame.

As for Bucky's performance? Not only was it rough around the edges...it was rough in the middle too.


2) Ace Young ("We Will Rock You") - Let's be honest. Ace showed off his arms this week in his little intro package. And as expected, they were...uh..."very nice." That's gotta earn him at least one more week.



Right?

After the Mandisa incident, the homos gotta vote for someone.


3) Kellie Pickler ("Bohemian Rhapsody") - Well...it wasn't as big a disaster as I was expecting.

But that's not saying much.

Frankly, Kellie's performance made me nostalgic for that Idol bleat-er known as Carmen Rasmusen.

I wonder what crazy blonde Mormon is up to...

Here's the thing...I can't find out...because her official website has been "suspended."

Hey Carmen...if you are reading this (I know...fat chance):

"Please contact the billing/support department as soon as possible."

Thanks!


4) Chris Daughtry ("Innuendo") - Chris continues to be hotter than Ace...even if he continue to FUEL everything that moves.


5) Katharine McPhee ("Who Wants to Live Forever" from the movie 'Highlander') - Who sings the Queen song from 'Highlander'?

What was she thinking?

The Queen song from 'Highlander'?

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY?

Gurrrrrl, you have lost your ever lovin' mind!



6) Elliott Yamin ("Somebody to Love") - Eh.


7) Taylor Hicks ("Crazy Little Thing Called Love") - Someone needs to call up John Lithgow and have him come down to the Idol soundstage...dressed in his Reverend Shaw Moore ensemble (from "Footloose")...and decree that Taylor is not allowed to dance.

ever.

again.


8) Paris Bennett ("The Show Must Go On") - Paris reached deep into her suitcase of hair and came out with some crazy Janet Jackson hairpiece for her performance of "The Show Must Go On."

I loved the new 'do, but...

I wished the Clarkson was singing the song.



judge jru votes


Ace...a couple of times...just to see his arms again. And then Chris...but only once.


OK...the Idol 5 officially sucks big phat donkey balls. I'm voting for these two guys just because I think they are hot. That is some sad ass shit!

I've got no one to root for. No one! I find myself not caring about who is going to win this whole thing.

If Chris wins...that'd be cool. If Paris wins...that'd be cool. And if someone else won, I wouldn't care that much.

Even Taylor would be fine.

Something is clearly either wrong with me...or the show. But right now, I'd like to think it's the show.

Sigh.


judge jru predicts


The One with the Twin, The One with the Nice Arms, or the One that sang the song from 'Highlander.'

OR maybe...just maybe...the country slut.

What is the Country Slut THINKING???

From USAToday.com (What the Idol 5-ites are performing tonight...on QUEEN night):

Ace Young, We Will Rock You: "I urbanized the verses a little, just by riding on (the notes). I put a little R&B soul on it. When we were done, they said, 'That sounds like a record.' "

Bucky Covington, Fat Bottomed Girls: "Yes, we all love the fat-bottomed girls."

Chris Daughtry, Innuendo: "It's a relatively unknown song. It just had a mixture of a dark feel and a positive message. And I just found out they've never performed this live."

Elliott Yamin, Somebody to Love: "I was drawn to the passionate emotion of the song. I heard a lot of soul in it."

Katharine McPhee, Who Wants to Live Forever: "How could (this) not be fun? We're working with so many different legends."

Kellie Pickler, Bohemian Rhapsody: "We only have 1 minute and 30 seconds, and the song is really long. Having to cut so many pieces is really hard to memorize, because I'm not singing the song as it's originally played."

Paris Bennett, The Show Must Go On: "Being with the band was a big experience to me, never being with a rock band before. I was able to pick a song that fits me, that's still rocky."

Taylor Hicks, Crazy Little Thing Called Love: "You listen to a Queen song, it's really melodic and very powerful, and the dynamics (are) really cool."


Pickler should just pack her bags now...

Party On, Paula!

So Miss Paula went on Leno last night...and in order to prove that she has a great sense of humor...she wore a crazy party hat and pretended to be "drunk."



Doesn't she look smart?


To download the video of Paula's best acting role to date, click on over to 'The Malcontent.'

Bucky is the NEW Lindsay Lohan/Hayley Mills?

Oh Bucky!



You so CRAZY!

Monday, April 10, 2006

House of Seacrest and Shame

I'm sure Ryan will be VERY comfortable in his brand new 11.5 million dollar bachelor pad.



Thank G-d he bought it from a man with GREAT career karma.



Maybe Costner can help usher Seacrest to the big screen in a remake of the Costner's "No Way Out."

Seacrest can play the Costner character. And Costner can be Sean Young.

I'll be first in line to see that picture.

For sure.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

The New York Times is the NEW 'In Touch'?

Did you ever wonder what Kevin "Chicken Little" Coavis has been up to...in the two and a half weeks since he got kicked off the Idol?



NO?

Well...just in case you change your mind, click on over to the very prestigious New York Times. They have all of the latest Idol "dish" for you!

Friday, April 07, 2006

Mandisa speaks!

An excerpt from Mandisa's interview with The Advocate Online:


There's been controversy about your comments on the Idol Web site and your appreciation for antigay writer and lecturer Beth Moore. Some took it as an endorsement of the "ex-gay" movement. What do you say to people who were turned off by that?

I just heard about that a couple of days ago. It broke my heart. I live my life by the value system that you treat others the way you want to be treated. I let love be my guide. I absolutely hate no one. When I heard that I was really upset.


Is there a conflict between being religious and being gay?

I know my value system, based on that, that on the word [of the Bible], that it does speak of that. I do know I have no place to judge anybody. I know that at the end of time we all face the judge and his name is not going to be Mandisa, so I cannot place any judgment on anyone.


Let me translate for everyone what that actually means:

God will judge all the sinners...those that do not live strictly by the words of the Bible...THAT means you homos! I don't hate the homos...I just think that God will judge them and that means that they are going to hell. But don't quote me on that...because that would really alienate people who might buy my album someday. And I wouldn't want to do that. A lady's gotta make a living somehow.


And scene.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Pushing Paula

I know a certain Idol judge that is getting to be a little too litigious!

Welcome to the OC, Beotch!

Guess which young Idol 5 castoff gonna be on the hit FOX tv show, "The OC"?

CLICK HERE to find out.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Don't Piss off the Homos!

WHAT JUDGE JRU LEARNED ABOUT AMERICA BY WATCHING THE SEVENTH ELIMINATION EPISODE OF THE IDOL 5

America hates big, sassy African-American Gospel singers that endorse religious homo haters.



Bye Mandisa!

We would have missed you, but then a thing happened...and now we won't.




THE TWO THAT BETTER SHAPE UP NEXT WEEK
(aka: the other 2 in the bottom 3)

Paris. Elliott.

Careful!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!



You seriously don't want to know what that picture is all about...but if you REALLY need to know, CLICK HERE.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

This whole thing makes me feel dirty and uneasy.

Please excuse me for a bit...I need to go take a long hot shower.

I think I may need to take a thousand of them before I ever feel clean again.


(link via ONTD)

Kellie's Fancy Haircut

$300 for a haircut?

REALLY?

Deny it all you want, Kellie...but we know the truth.

You really are VERY FANCY!

Best. Proactiv Spokeswoman. Ever.



Big Props to the littliest Ru for sending me this link!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Kenny Roger's Roasters

THE TOP 9 OF THE IDOL 5
THEME: Country Night (Kenny Rogers Night)


1) Taylor Hicks ("Take Me Home Country Road," by John Denver) - Um...maybe it's just me...but no one likes it when you speed up a John Denver song to the point that it sounds manic.

It's like Country on Speed.

And I don't think the Idol's should do drugs.

That's simply not a good message to send to the kids, Taylor.

That's right...I'm talking to YOU!


2)Mandisa ("Any Man of Mine," by Shania Twain) - Blah.

We all know how I feel about Mandisa now.

I can't be trusted with this one.


3) Elliott Yamin ("If Tomorrow Never Come," by Garth Brooks) - How has this one become my favorite?

Elliott is fine...but he's not all that.

And if this is the best that the Idol 5 has to offer...well, I'm starting to worry that I just might not care so much about the show anymore. I might be kinda done. Don't worry. I'll make it through to the end of the season...but unless someone really turns their shit around...I don't know if I can make it through another season.


4) Paris Bennett ("How Do I Live," by Trisha Yearwood) - Thank God Paris didn't dig through her suitcase of hair to find a "country" hairstyle this week...because I couldn't have taken another bad hair day from the Paris. It was getting to be a little much. Let's stick to Paris' real hair...because the fake kind just ain't workin' for me.

As for the actual performance? It was totally eh.



5) Ace Young ("When I Cry" "Tonight I Wanna Cry" by Keith Urban) - At least he's pretty.



6) Kellie Pickler ("Fancy, by Reba McEntire) - I'm still not buying what Kellie is sellin'.

She just ain't that FANCY.



7) Chris Daughtry ("Memories of Us," by Keith Urban) - I don't like Chris when he's all tame and shit. It doesn't work for me.

It might be just a little dull.



8) Katharine McPhee ("Bringing out the Elvis is Me," by Faith Hill) - Roboticly perky.



9) Bucky Covington ("Best I Ever Had," by Gary Allen) - Lame.

I seriously think I might have passed out in the middle of this performance.

And that can't be a good sign for anyone.



judge jru votes

Uh...do I have to vote? If I have to...I vote for Elliott. But I don't wanna. So I'm not gonna.



judge jru predicts


I get the feeling that we might be saying goodbye to Ace...

And if not Ace, then Bucky...and if not Bucky, then Mandisa.

I don't know. I just don't care that much right now.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Before he joined the AARP...

...Taylor Hicks was kinda hot.





Who knew?

Because I certainly didn't.


(Pics via Just Jared)

To Do: Marcia, Felicity.
Already Done: Teri, Eva.

I just received the following email and felt it was necessary to immediately share it with y'all:


From: Kalli McQ.
To: judgejru@gmail.com
Date: Apr 3, 2006 10:59 AM
Subject: Pictures of Eva Longoria and Ryan Seacrest, 4/1/06

I went to the Spurs vs Wizards game in San Antonio on Saturday and lo and behold, who is sitting with Miss Eva? Ryan-freakin'-Seacrest! He was sitting about 2 sections over, a couple rows in front of us. I had a pretty clear shot of the two of them from my seat.

Conversation with my mom went as follows:
Kalli- Ooo, look, Eva's here tonight, she looks nice... who's that with - is that...? OHMYGODIT'SRYANSEACREST!!!! WHERE'S THE CAMERA?!?
Mom- Kalli, go over to the railing and take some pictures!
(Kalli gets sent back to her seat by security)
(Fast-forward to halfway through the 2nd quarter)
Mom- Kalli, quit being a stalker paparazzi and put the camera down and watch the game.
Kalli- But Eva just bought cotton candy and she's sharing it! I have to get a picture of her eating! THEY'RE LOOKING OVER HERE!!! JUST ONE MORE PICTURE!!!

So anyway, I thought you might enjoy the pictures. I'm not really sure why he was in town, but my mom thinks he's interviewing Eva and Tony about their new house for E News Live. He had his own little camera crew with him and Eva was all dressed up (she usually comes in jeans, tshirts and ballcaps). Ken Paves and some other blonde lady that I didn't recognize were also sitting with Ryan and Eva. Hope you like them!

Kalli













BIG thanks to Kalli for the photos and the email!

First Teri...now Eva...I wonder which Desperate Housewife the Seacrest is going hang with next.

Personally, I'm hoping it's Doug Savant.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Ace's Lady Friend

Meet Essence Atkins.



She's one lucky bitch.



Tune in to UPN on Monday night to see Ace Young guest star on Essence's show, "Half and Half." In the episode, the multi-talented Ace plays a pro-athlete who decides to quit to follow his music dreams. Of course he does.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

My burning eyes!

I'm a little late on the bandwagon about the Teri Hatcher/Ryan Seacrest incident...but here are the TOTALLY candid photos of the new couple.









ugh.


(pics via WWTDD)