Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Last Call for Ladies Night!

THE TOP 8 "LADIES" OF THE IDOL 5


1) Paris 'Princess P' Bennett ("Conga," by Gloria Estefan) - I'm not fan of the jeans & dress look. I was never a fan of the jeans & dress look. I will never be a fan of the jeans & dress look.

Nana Nesby, please don't put your granddaughter in anything that one of the Olsen twins would wear! No one wants that! Just like they don't want Kermit to appear in a Ford Escape Hybrid commercial!

So please make it stop!

As for Paris' performance, it was ayight.


2) Lisa 'Really, I'm a huge Jimi Hendrix fan' Tucker ("Where I Stand", by Tiffany Taylor)
- I've said it before and I'll say it again. Lisa Tucker is just a Diana DeNoNo clone...minus the dorky awkward charm.

No thanks. I really don't want to order that.


4) Melissa 'Boring!' McGhee ("What about Love", by Heart) - Eh. It was nice knowing you Melissa! Seeya!


3) Kinnik 'Pig Intestines are Delicious' Sky ("If I Ain't Got You", by Alicia Keys) - I don't know if y'all are aware...but Best Picture Oscar Winner "Crash" was not my favorite movie of the year. Any film that features Tony Danza as a subtly racist television executive just ain't for me. However, I do appreciate what the film was trying to say about race.

Unfortunately, Kinnik didn't see the picture (it's either that or she's a total idiot)...so she somehow thought it would be a great idea to reveal to America that she LOVES her chitlins!

Way to go Kinnik! You certainly know how to set a great example for your race!

Now if only there was a show that could fix all the wrong that Kinnik has wrought...


5) Katharine 'Definitely Not Leaving the Show' McPhee ("Think," by Aretha Franklin)
- Doesn't everyone just LOVE it when white girls try to be Aretha? Oh wait a minute...I don't.


6) Ayla 'Elvis Ain't My Daddy' Brown ("Unwritten", by Natasha Bedingfield) - I want to like Ayla. Really I do! But when she wears cargo capri pants and then starts doing deep squats onstage like she has to take a dump...well, I just can't be on that team.


7) Mandisa 'Thumbsucker' Hundley ("I'm Every Woman," by Chaka Khan) - As for Team Mandisa, well...that's a team I could/would/should be the captain of!


8) Kellie 'Minx' Pickler ("I'm the Only One," by Melissa Etheridge) - I'm in total agreement with Simon. If Carrie Underwood had even half of this girl's personality, Kelly Clarkson might have had to finally turn over her best Idol contestant ever trophy.

As it stands now, I'm enjoying Kellie's post-Idol banter much more than I'm enjoying her performances.


judge jru votes

I voted for my Mandisa a whole mess of times and then I voted for my lil' lady Paris twice.


judge jru predicts who ain't gonna make it

Kinnik and Melissa. It was nice knowing y'all!

6 Comments:

Blogger AJ said...

Melissa McGhee scared the heck out of me last night!

There's something about her face that is incredibly frightening...and her hair looked stupid.

6:23 AM  
Blogger icha said...

hahahahhahahah @ ayla's description

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kellie Pickler singing... always sounding too sharp, esp. higher notes... Kellie Pickler talking... nails scratching on a fracking chalkboard. I don't like her. I don't like her even more with the show doing such a hard sell for me to like her. Poof! Be gone...

In other news, jru, I want to have your baby. Anatomically, it's impossible since I'm a dude, but, hey, I just wanna put it out there.

GO Mandisa!

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://www.votefortheworst.com/pickler.html

'Nuff said.

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i'm sorry, but i'm in complete disagreement with you. you are completely judging a book by its cover with lisa tucker. she is a phenomenal lady, clearly much better than the way you state her as. stop being so hypocritical. you simon-wannabe.

9:58 PM  
Anonymous idolfan said...

I'm right there with you on the predictions. . .I think Melissa could bump Ayla though. We'll see.

11:35 AM  

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