Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Two Hours of Lady Idol

THE TOP 12 GIRLS OF THE IDOL 5

1) Mandisa "Just Like Jesus" Hundley ('Never,' by Heart) - Gurrrrl, you right! Sisters can rawk too! While Mandisa still is no Frenchie (this is the last time I'm going to beat that dead horse, swear), I found her surprisingly enjoyable.

Mandisa may not equal Frenchie, but me thinks that...




2) Kellie "She's No Carrie Underwood" Pickler ('How Far,' by Martina McBride)
- I want to like Kellie. Really. I do! She's got spunk! And not the bad "funky" kind!

Kellie is that girl that starred in your high school's production of "Oklahoma!" and even though she didn't turn in a pitch perfect performance, everyone still thought she was "the berries."

That's right! I said it! Kellie Pickler is the "berries!"

OK. Please excuse me. I think I may have just turned myself into a diabetic.


3) Becky "I've Got a Twin Sister" O'Donohue ('Because The Night,' by Patti Smith) - Even though she isn't dead yet, somewhere in America....Patti Smith is rolling over in her grave.


4) Ayla "I don't know if you know this about me, but I play basketball!" Brown ('Reflection,' by Christina Aguilera) - Least Favorite Moment of the Night? When Ayla Brown referenced the fact that 'Mulan' was one of her favorite movies "growing up." I was halfway to college graduation when that movie came out!

Hi...Ayla Brown makes me feel old. And she isn't even the youngest contestant in the Idol 5!

As for Ayla's performance, she was not nearly as big a disastrophe as I was expecting.


5) Paris "Lil' Lady" Bennett ('Midnight Train to Georgia,' by Gladys Knight & the Pips) - For the first time in my life, I'm at a loss for words. And it's a good thing! Paris is SO cute...it hurts!

And my lil' lady can SANG!


6) Stevie "I like to sing OPERA" Scott ('To Where You Are,' by Josh Groban)
- Now I know why Stevie looked like a lost little puppy on Saturday night! She done screwed up! And it's not like she can't sing either.

This whole incident only confirms my belief that listening to Josh Groban only leads you down a path of misery and pain.

Don't believe me?

Well, Josh Groban was on "Oprah."

And looked what happened to her with that whole James Frey bit!

Coincidence?

I think not!


7) Brenna "Bling Bling" Gethers ('You Are The Sunshine Of My Life,' by Stevie Wonder) - Hmmm...you think Brenna was begging for votes with that whole "I'm dedicating this song to my mom/I grew up poor" thing? Nobody's buying your budget-ass sob story!

Who do you think you are? Kellie Pickler?

Gurl, you done pulled some wack shit! And I hope your diamond ass is bling-bling-ed all the way home!


8) Heather "There is NO way I'm making it to the top 12" Cox ('When You Tell Me That You Love Me,' by Idol 4 Finalists) - Is it just me or does Miss Cox look like a prettier version of the infamous Scooter Girl, Nicole Tieri?



Separated at Birth much?


9) Melissa "Pageant Queen" McGhee ('When The Lights Go Down,' by Faith Hill) - Hi Melissa! It was nice meeting you! Your performance was totally acceptable, but I still think you're going to end up leaving us in a week or two. You seem like a very lovely girl, but also one that no one will ever really remember in the end. Does anyone honestly remember Lisa Leuschner from the Idol 3?

Bueller?

Yeah. Didn't think so.

10) Lisa "Irene Cara 2.0" Tucker ('I Am Changing,' by Jennifer Holiday) - If I'm being completely honest, Lisa made me a little uncomfortable with her song choice. I did not want or need a 16 year-old singing a song about how she is "changing."

It made me think of a story I read in my sister's "Seventeen" magazine once. One that featured a pair of white capri pants, a field trip to the Zoo, and one young girl's journey into "womanhood."


11) Kinnik "Totally That Annoying Girl in the Office that sings Happy Birthday the Loudest" Sky ('Get Here,' by Oleta Adams Justin Guarini) - You know that someone isn't all that memorable when the only thing you can really recall about them is their awesome Tina Turner/Angela Bassett arms.


12) Katharine "Who Me Frontrunner?" McPhee ('Since I Fell For You,' by Barbara Streisand) - The Bad News? Kat is no Kelly Clarkson. The Good News? She's quite a lovely performer in her own right, although...I could have done without the cutesy "performance"/emote the song bit. Please leave that cutesyness to the DeNoNo.



judge jru votes

I voted for Paris more times than I care to admit. And then I voted for Kat and Mandisa a few times each. I also voted for Stevie once (because I HAVE to believe she will do better next time).


judge jru predicts

I have this sneaking suspicion that we'll be saying bub-bye to Heather Cox and either Stevie Scott or Brenna Gethers on Thursday.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

When I first saw Katherine McPhee during the audition episodes, I totally thought she was like a younger version of my fave Jazz singer Jane Monheit... from the voice, to song choice, to the whole emoting thing she does... LOVE HER! I hope she's at least in the final four...

4:15 PM  
Anonymous John said...

I agree with this completely, thanks for the post.

10:26 PM  

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