Tuesday, February 28, 2006

"Honey" is the NEW "Baby"

THE TOP 10 "LADIES" OF THE IDOL 5


1) Katharine McPhee ("All is Fair in Love," by Stevie Wonder)
- On this blog, I've never really heeded the advice of Thumper's mom: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." But here's my problem now, I don't have anything nice to say AND I don't have anything not nice to say. Katharine's performance was so bland that I simply don't have anything to say at all.


2) Kinnik Sky ("Here For the Party", by Gretchen Wilson) - I'm all for diversity in country music, but Kinnik's performance was about as enjoyable as the very best of Cowboy Troy's expansive oeuvre.

For those that have no clue what the heck I'm talking about, click here for a lesson on that hick hop disgrace to humankind.


3) Lisa Tucker ("Who's Lovin' You", by the Jackson 5)
- Creepiest Moment of the Night? The shot of Lisa's parents eagerly staring at their daughter and mouthing EVERY WORD of the song. That look in their eyes was ravenous! It was like they wanted to sit down with a fork & knife and EAT their daughter for dinner.


4) Melissa McGhee ("Why Haven't I Heard From You", by Reba McEntire) - I found Melissa's performance totally enjoyable. It was very Jessica Sierra-ish...only with more neck.


5) Heather Cox ("Hero", by Mariah Carey) - How did this girl end up in the top 24? Seriously! She can't sing, she isn't that hot, and her personality is about as lifeless as packet on unhydrated Sea Monkeys!


6) Brenna Gethers ("Last Dance," by Donna Summer) - The less said about this ho...the better.


7) Paris Bennett ("Wind Beneath My Wings," by Bette Midler) - Last week, Paris was cute. This week, she was just cutesy.


8) Ayla Brown ("I Want You to Need Me", by Celine Dion) - I want Ayla to stay around this competition simply because I enjoy just how tiny she makes Ryan look.

I'm convinced that you would be able to fold Ryan up and fit him in the overhead compartment on pretty much any commercial aircraft.


9) Kellie Pickler ("Something to Talk About," by Bonnie Raitt) - Kellie's whole country bumpkin schtick is getting a bit tired for me. Mispronouncing seafood doesn't get you very far in my book. Luckily, Kellie's vocal performance tonight wasn't half-bad.


10) Mandisa ("Cry," by Faith Hill) - In terms of actually hitting the proper notes, Mandisa didn't turn in the best performance of the night (I think that award goes to Ayla or Melissa). However, Mandisa made one little change to the song that might have gotten me more than a little excited. Instead of singing "Some kind of heartache...Darlin'...give it a try," Mandisa sang "Some kind of heartache...HONEY...give it a try."

OK...I know. It's one word, right? I shouldn't care, right?

Here's the thing...

As long as Jessica Alba isn't in the room, Mandisa can call me "Honey" anytime.


judge jru votes

I voted for my Mandisa a couple of times. And then I was done.

Overall, I'm very disappointed in the ladies tonight. They gotta do better next week or else...I'm gonna...uh...I was going to threaten my retirement again, but let's be honest...that's just not going to happen.


judge jru predicts

Brenna, Heather, Kinnik, and mystery person #4 are clearly the ones that are not making the overall Top 12...but as far as predicting who is actually going to go this week?

All I can say that it's going to be two of them.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Francis said...

you liked Melissa! :) I'm glad im seeing more people liking her cuz i think its so unfair that she didnt get more airtime and shes SOOOO talented.

5:14 PM  
Blogger phlegmfatale said...

I couldn't believe my ears when all 3 judges praised Kelli's performance. She was shaky, nervous, and in danger of losing it altogether - and they would have pounced on that if it had been anyone else. I'm amazed - and then they gave Mandisa grief? Please!

6:06 PM  

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