Tuesday, January 31, 2006

This Ain't The State o' the Union!

judge jru's semi-live blog of episode 5 of the Idol 5

8:00 pm - Where in the World is Ryan Seacrest?

Rome?

New York?

Camelot?

REALLY?

Where is Rockapella when you need them to drown out the Seacrest?

8:02 pm - Can someone please deport the Fake Jamaican from Bakersfield???

8:05 pm - Don't you just love it when the Idol rejects return as a manager for their baby sister?

Yeah, me neither.

8:08 pm - Mecca Madison, the Belly Dancer, is very cute...very sweet...very nice. But I'm kind of over the crazy fake painted swirly sideburns. Those aren't so cute, sweet, or nice.

8:14 pm - Did a Velociraptor just audition for the Idol?

8:16 pm - Woo Hoo! The African-American Prison Worker/Aspiring Country Singer (Heather Ward) is from Salisbury, Maryland! I've been there!


judge jru has to take a break from live blogging to go pick up his big sister from the airport. He will return to finish this post as quickly as the traffic of Los Angeles allows.

* * *

An hour and five minutes later...

I'm back!

Thanks to the magic of TiVo, I can still pretend to "live blog" as if I never left.


8:22 pm - Even without the whole gondola schtick, Jason "Pepe" Andino bugs.

8:26 pm - Um...Anthony Andolino (the zaftig untalented high pitched guy that sang Jodeci) has a live-in girlfriend, while I'm dying a slow death...alone?

How is that fair G-d?

HOW IS THAT FAIR???

8:32 pm - Ugh. More Twins.

Have I mentioned how much really good-looking twins totally creep me out?

Because they do.

Like a lot.

8:42 pm - Funny foreigner Haggai Yedidya needs to be deported too! The Sister Ru said she'd get right on it.

(I've realized something...foreigners with funny accents don't give me retarded tingles like the strange "special" Americans do, so I guess that means that if you ain't from America and you speak crazy broken english, then you funny! So thank you for the laughter Yakov Smirnoff. Thank you.)

8:45 pm - Paula Abdul on the headache inducing Princess Brewer: "There were some sweet moments in there."

Look Ma!

Paula's funny!

8:55 pm - It's not Steve Martin...it's Taylor Hicks!



And he also thinks he was born a poor black child!

8:59 pm - Tomorrow night, we're in Austin, Texas!

Um, when do we go to Hollywood again?

Are we there yet Ryan?



um...




What about now?

1 Comments:

Blogger carlo said...

good one ....thanks for sharing..when i Watch american idol first time then i'm hooked. now i have all episodes in download format.

5:26 AM  

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