Sunday, January 01, 2006

judge jru's Best of 2005

To start off the New Year, I’ve given judgejru.com a bit of a makeover.

As you can tell, I worked VERY hard on giving this blog a totally new look. And by very hard, I mean…about twenty minutes with Photoshop.


Anyways, because today closes the book on 2005…and I’m a big fan of making top 10 lists...I’ve compiled a whole boatload of “Best of 2005” lists for your enjoyment.





BEST IDOL RELATED SONGS OF 2005

1) "Since U Been Gone" - Kelly Clarkson

Yes, I know...technically the song is 2004...but if Pitchfork can do it...so can I.

2) “Total Eclipse of the Heart” – Jessica Sierra

There was no way Jessica was ever going to win the Idol 4, but it would have been nice to see her make it farther. And after taking a listen to the mostly tepid Idol 4 - "Showstoppers" CD, it's pretty darn clear that this lady can SANG.

3) “Because of You” – Kelly Clarkson

My friend Seth LOVED this song way before I did. I thought it was TOO dramatic, but then one day...I caved in and now I heart this song more than I ever thought I would.

4) "B What U Want To B" – Darin (Swedish Idol runner-up)

This song might not be for all tastes. The chorus sounds like a poor man's tATu and the lyrics about being a postman, policeman, or "something like your old man" may be WAY too cheesy, so it really shouldn't work...yet somehow...this song is the best ear candy my ears have ever tasted.

5) "Appreciate" - Latoya London

Baby StepMama Latoya appreciates her man...and I appreciate Latoya.

6) "Move" – Darin

This time, Darin's Swedish producers lay on a supergroove that makes me want to shake my ass so hard that it falls off.

7) “Best of My Love” – Vonzell Solomon

Cutest. Idol. Cover. Ever.

8) “Vehicle” – Bo Bice

I'm not the world's biggest Bo Bice fan, but I do enjoy Bo's rendition of this classic. And in any other year, this song probably wouldn't have made my top ten list, but as you can probably tell...I'm grasping at straws to come up with ten even moderately enjoyable songs by Idol contestants released this year.

9) "I Ain't In Checotah Anymore" - Carrie Underwood

If only Carrie's entire album had been this ridiculously fun and stereotypically country, I might have actually come to love the country cyborg...instead of just loving this song.

10) "Laura" - Darin

I love any song where the chorus involves spelling out the title of the song. "L-A-U-R-A...Laura." What is NOT to love about that bit of Swedish songwriting genius?





WORST IDOL RELATED SONGS OF 2005

1) Drift – Pray For the Soul of Betty featuring Constantine Maroulis

I hate everything about this song. This band. This man. He. is. the. worst.

2) Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood

I don't hate this song, because it's about Jesus. I heart Jesus. I hate this song, because...well...it just plain sucks.

3) The Real Thing – Bo Bice

Zzzzz...poor man's Gavin DeGraw says what now?

4) When You Tell Me You Love Me – Idol 4 Finalists

judge jru's word of the day:

Treacly - trea·cly - adj. - Cloyingly sweet or sentimental.

5) Up on the Housetops – Kimberley Locke

I love me some Kimberley Locke...but I do not loves me some poor ass Kidz Bop rendition of a boring Xmas carol.

6) Inside Your Heaven – Bo Bice

If this is Heaven sounds like, I'd hate to find out Hell's playlist.




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BEST NON-IDOL RELATED SONGS OF 2005

1) "Biology" - Girls Aloud

I used to dream about songs like this...and now Girls Aloud records them.

2) "Tymps (The Sick In the Head Song)" - Fiona Apple

I'm worried that I identify a bit too much with some of Fiona's lyrics. Does that make me crazy or just crazysexycool?

3) “Be Mine” - Robyn

I LOVED Robyn back in her "Show Me Love" days. In fact, that song is STILL on my workout mix. This song pushes Miss Robyn into another cooler/hipper lever...like Kate Bush/Tori Amos/Milla territory.

4) "Rebellion (Lies)" – The Arcade Fire

To be honest, I didn't think much of The Arcade Fire at first. I thought they were just some annoying hipster band...but then...when I finally let my guard down, I discovered this bit of alterna-pop heaven. I've been caught by some of my fellow LA drivers on more than one occasion singing my face off to this song in my car. And guess what? I didn't feel guilty about it at all.

5) "Catch My Disease" - Ben Lee

I'm not sure what kind of "disease" Mr. Lee is referring to, but I've caught it...and boy do I feel great!

6) “Never Win” - Fischerspooner

I'm gay...and desperately want to be hip...so therefore, I'm required to love Fischerspooner.

7) "Suddenly I See” – KT Tunstall

KT Tunstall makes the kind of music Liz Phair would make, if she wasn't so worried about trying to still be "kool."

8) "Crazy All The Time" - 33hz

What Prince would sound like...if he was tall, skinny, white, from NYC, and in a band.

9) "Love is An Arrow" - Aberfeldy

"Love is a verb and a noun as well
You find it in a dictionary under 'L'
They give you a description, they spell it out
But they don't say what it's all about"

What is not to love about a twee Scottish band that writes lyrics as ridiculously fun as those?

10) "I Eat Dinner (When the Hunger's Gone)" - Rufus Wainwright & Dido

Is it wrong that I feel like Rufus is at his best when he is singing songs written by his parents?

10.5) "Testify" - Common

I enjoy songs that tell a story...especially ones whose video feature Taraji P. Henson lip-synching the hook.





BEST NON-IDOL RELATED ALBUMS OF 2005

1) Extraordinary Machine - Fiona Apple



2) Plans - Death Cab For Cutie



3) You Could Have It So Much Better – Franz Ferdinand



4) Aerial – Kate Bush



5) I Am A Bird Now - Antony And the Johnsons



6) Chemistry - Girls Aloud



7) Illinois – Sufjan Stevens



8) The Alternative to Love - Brendan Benson



9) Supernature - Goldfrapp



10) Move Along - The All-American Rejects






* * *




BEST NON-IDOL RELATED FILMS OF 2005

1) Murderball

You'll laugh. You'll cry. It's better than March Of the Penguins.

2) Pride and Prejudice

Minus the Sixteen Candles ending, I loved everything about this movie. Much like Elizabeth Bennett's headstrong personality, it was practically perfect in every way.

3) Brokeback Mountain

I know I use this excuse too much, but I'm a homo and therefore required by law to enjoy movies in which Jake Gyllenhaal has sex with Heath Ledger.

4) Capote

After this movie, I hated Capote - the person...but I loved Capote - the movie.

5) The Squid and the Whale

I found this movie very enjoyable, although I do have to say...I'm a little tired with movies in which Anna Paquin plays a sexy student that seduces an older man.

6) Hustle & Flow

I've found myself a new fantasy girlfriend. And her name is Taraji P. Henson.

7) Mysterious Skin

On paper...this movie sounds a little too pretentious for it's own good...a film about child molestation, alien abduction, and violent gay sex starring the kid for "3rd Rock from the Sun," yet somehow the whole thing works. I'm going to have nightmares about this movie for weeks.

8) King Kong

Best movie ever featuring a performance that I hate like poison. Jack Black should never EVER be allowed to appear in a movie where he has to actually look serious for two seconds. It doesn't work. He constantly has that awful smirk on his face like he is in on some joke that the rest of us just wouldn't understand. And frankly, I don't care for that attitude. I don't care for it at all.

9) Wallace & Gromit : The Curse of the WereRabbit

Joke of the year:

Wallace awakes to discover that he is naked. He pulls on a cardboard box to cover up his bits and pieces. The front of the box reads "May Contain Nuts."

10) The History of Violence

Violence has never been so fun and sexy!


RUNNER UPS

1) Match Point

judge jru's movie math lesson o' the day:

Match Point - Scarlett Johansson's performance = JUST PLAIN BRILLIANT!

Match Point + Scarlett Johansson's performance = Best Woody Allen movie since Manhattan Murder Mystery!

2) In Her Shoes

I was such a wussy. I cried my eyes out during this movie. Multiple times.

Don't judge me.

3) Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

It's OK, Val...you are finally forgiven for "Ten Commandments - The Musical."

4) Walk the Line

Baby. Baby. Baby! Everytime Reese Witherspoon was on-screen I was SO happy. Whenever she wasn't...I was bored.

5) Junebug

Amy Adams deserves to win every award ever for her performance as the cutest pregnant lady this side of Taraji P. Henson.

6) The Corpse Bride

judge jru's movie math lesson o' the day 2:

Stop Motion Animation + Death / Wedding Dresses = Fun!




WORST NON-IDOL RELATED FILMS OF 2005

1) Rent

Chris Columbus shouldn't be allowed to make movies anymore...unless they star little kids who get "accidentally" left home alone.

2) The Ring 2

Computer generated deer are supposed to be scary? REALLY???

3) Crash

I know I shouldn't judge a movie on the basis of a five minute bit...but here's the thing...in the five minute bit I caught, Tony Danza played a racist television producer. Uh...no thanks.


HAVEN'T SEEN**
- Good Night and Good Luck
- Stealth
- North Country

**This means that as I see these films, I will update the top 10 list as necessary.




* * *




BEST NON-IDOL RELATED TV SHOWS OF 2005

1) Veronica Mars

Veronica Mars is the NEW Buffy. Only better.

2) Project Runway

I was worried that season two wouldn't live up to the high bar set by season one...but thanks to Santino, Diana, and all the rest...I'm in reality show heaven once again.

3) The Comeback

At first, I didn't think I could handle Valerie Cherish and her whole thing...but then she went to Palm Springs and I was in love.

4) Grey's Anatomy

Love the show. Love everything about the show. Except for the main character, who I just want to bitch slap.

5) Arrested Development

AH! Save this show!

6) The Closer

Kyra Sedgwick is another one of my new girlfriends.

7) South Park

For the smart fratboy in all of us...

8) Entourage

Hollywood is funny! But only on HBO.

9) My Name is Earl

Jamie Pressly stars as herself. And I love her for it.

10) America's Next Top Model

Cycle after cycle, I keep on wondering how the show could get any crazier. And cycle after cycle, Miss Tyra and her posse always manage to exceed my expectations.




* * *




BEST NON-IDOL RELATED POP CULTURE BLOGS OF 2005

1) Pink is the New Blog

2) FourFour

3) Just Jared

4) Towleroad

5) Poptext

6) Stereogum

7) Go Fug Yourself

8) Defamer

9) r blog

10) Popwatch

2 Comments:

Blogger Brent said...

Biology was the number 2 song on my 2005 list. It's pretty great.

I took the liberty of annointing Since U Been Gone as my favorite song of the year. Whoever doesn't like it can suck it, really.

As for Veronica Mars: I've never really sat down to watch it. I was a hardcore buffy fan and it's good to hear that theres something out there that's just as good....or even better. I'll have to get TiVo to record it.

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, Crash is the best movie of 2005, forget the Danza and watch it.

I hate Buffy but love VM. They have nothing in common. But GA wins best tv show for 2005.

10:40 AM  

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