Tuesday, January 17, 2006

it begins...again!

judge jru's live blog of the Idol 5 Premiere

8:00 pm
- Contrary to my t-shirt, I do not heart Ryan Seacrest. Not even a little bit.

8:01 pm - Carrie Underwood isn't in the opening credit sequence with the other Idol winners. What gives? Is Fox too cheap to splurge on a new opening bit? Apparently, I'm not as observant as I thought. It turns out that Carrie has been inserted into the tail end of the credit sequence. Thanks for the heads up, Lil' G!

8:03 pm - I don't want anyone to touch me with their voice...except maybe Hugh Jackman.

8:04 pm - Hating the recap...and the stock footage bit. It's a bit too cheesy...even for the Idol!

8:05 pm - Who is the girl whose grandmother is Ann Nesby? I heart her already!

8:06 pm - No crooners please!

8:06 pm - No torch singers either!

8:07 pm - Who's the 16 year old Irene Cara-alike? Me likey!

8:11 pm - Is it wrong that I'm SO excited for Kurt Browning's grand return to television?

8:12 pm - WooOOOoo Chicago!

8:14 pm - Derek Dupree, the first contestant...and the first crazy person of the new Idol!

8:17 pm - Now's your chance to do the hump...do the Humpty Dance, yo!

8:19 pm - WooOOOoo twins wearing white ascots!

8:26 pm - Brittnem Twins perform. Their names...Terrell and Derrell! Really? Their mom should be ashamed of herself! That's worse than naming your kid Anfernee!

8:30 pm - All Girl Band named "Catfight?" Sure, why not?

8:31 pm - Gina Glocksen from "Catfight?" Sure, why not?

8:34 pm - Is Mandisa (Hundley) the NEW Frenchie?

8:4o pm - Is that a Hobbit?

8:43 pm - Simon is hateful!

8:44 pm - Did Paula just have a seizure?

8:46 pm - Randy advises a contestant to get a cow and name it Simon. Paula declares that the contestant should name it "Mad Cowell!" Um...did anyone else just hear that? Did Paula just make a decent off-the-cuff joke? What gives? Is she finally off the drugs?

9:06 pm - I'm kind over the whole Barrettsmith sister act already...and they haven't even performed yet.

9:07 pm - Brooke and Leah Barrettsmith can sing...a little bit. But I think they're both hyping themselves up for a world of heartbreak, if either one of them thinks they are anything more than the newer, prettier version of the Scooter Girl.

9:12 pm - Zachary Smits will make a very handsome gentleman someday.

9:13 pm - Paula thinks Zachary is quietly confident. Ofcourseshedoes.

9:23 pm - David Radford is John Stevens 2.0?

9:25 pm - Blonde whores on television! Oh...Paris Hilton, what have you wrought?

9:32 pm - Seriously? I have to wait until MARCH to see my once and future boyfriend Wentworth Miller again?

9:36 pm - The sister ru desperately wants to deport Yulya, the Ukranian Mary Roche. But maybe...she already has...

9:43 pm - More twins. Josh and Jarrett Simmons. At least these two aren't wearing white ascots, but then again...cute African-American 16 year old boys shouldn't really rock the Avril Lavigne look.

9:47 pm - Barefoot Crazy Dave Hoover talks to animals...like Ryan Seacrest!

9:50 pm - Seriously? Crazy Dave is going to Hollywood??? OK, maybe Paula isn't totally off the prescription drugs.

9:55 pm - How is Blond Whore (see 9:25 pm) in a different outfit in the same city? Did she come back? The magic of television editing isn't working for me here.

10:00 pm - Jeez...I forgot how boring these initial audition episodes are. Ugh. How many more weeks until semi-finals?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is more information on the blond whore. I love your site! I've been watching it for 5 years now!

[link=http://www.realitytvmagazine.com/blog/2006/01/did_american_id.html#more]Blond Whore[/link]

8:09 AM  
Blogger Mandel said...

Ukranian Mary Roach...BEST Idol Analogy of the day!

8:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


1:01 PM  
Blogger Mandel said...

YAY for the David Hoover website! YAYYYYYYYY!

4:38 PM  
Blogger Monica said...

blonde whore is hideous! i'm glad i missed that part of the episode. what about the cosmic coasters!! oh wait, maybe this was yesterday and not today, oy. btw, my new favorite blog!

8:51 PM  

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