Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Carolina on My Mind

judge jru's live blog of episode 3 of the Idol 5

8:00pm
- Tonight on American Idol : Travel Edition...We're going to Greensboro, North Carolina!

8:02pm - I think we've seen Sabrina the Teenage Witch before...on episode 1. I don't care for the recycling of the bad audition footage! I know this show has been stretched to two hours again tonight, but still! Dudes...don't waste my time!

8:05pm - Cachet Robinson. Cool Name. Bad Voice.

8:07pm - Here we go...Kellie Pickler. The Pretty North Carolina Blonde with the tragic backstory. She lives with her elderly grandfather. Her mother left her when she was 3 years old. Her druggie father is in and out of prison. And...



8:09pm - ...she has the voice of Carrie Underwood! But now with added personality!

8:11pm - Seriously, this girl (Kellie) is so lovable...I just don't know what to do with myself.


Pardon the delay in blogging, I was just watching Mark Feurstein/Adam Stein's HI-LARIOUS West Coast Response to Andy Samberg/Chris Parnell's Chronic-les of Narnia rap.


8:16pm - Shawn's Idol diorama is much more impressive than his singing. And what is up with his precocious little brother? He's got a little bit of the verbal diarrhea.

8:19pm - Richard Garland's Scottie the Dolly creeps me out.

8:25pm - The bald-headed, mustached married military boy (Steven David) also makes me very uneasy.

8:32pm - Is HOUSE back on yet?

8:33pm - Is Halicia Thompson singing the "A Different World" theme song?

8:38pm - Kendra Winston is unbelievable perky for having such a tough life (she grew up in 42 different foster/group homes, single mother of 3, etc). I'm not sure that I love the voice, but I love the personality! Perhaps, Kendra should become the new Dunkleman?

8:48pm - Simon does another boy-in-the-dress joke. Did you hear that one GLAAD?

8:57pm - Really? We are less than halfway through??? I've got to sit through another hour of this?

9:01pm - Jeffrey "Ryan" Baysden is CUNT-TRY! And there is no way that beotch is 27 year old!

9:04pm - Anne Nesby's Granddaughter, Paris Bennett, is so cute! How can you NOT love a 17 year old African-American girl named Paris who sings the Dixie Chicks???



9:13pm - WoooOOoo! It's Simon Cowell's birthday! And he is stuck in Greensboro, North Carolina. For the first time ever, I feel for the British beotch.

9:15pm - Bad singer blames Paula/Randy's DVDs for his bad performance.



That's a shame.

9:26pm - Sammy Neighbors has the craziest, overcropped eyebrows I have ever seen on a homo before! I don't even think drag queens make them that thin!

Oh...there's another Simon compares a homo to a girl joke!

Hi...I'm hating him again.

9:33pm - Did I mention just how much I love the John Zimmerman (from "Skating with Celebrities" fame)? He's even dreamier than the Idol 5's very own Ace Young.

9:34pm - Tyra Juliette Schwartz seems very nice.

9:43pm - With that cheesy firefighter get-up, I was all prepared for Jordan Southerland to suck balls. BUT he didn't!

9:46pm - Oh Rhonetta.



9:59pm - We're going to San Fran tomorrow night! Woo Hoo!!!

10:00pm - And now, it's time for my Love Monkey.

3 Comments:

Blogger Brent said...

WHOOOO

I went to High School with Sammy Neighbors.

I posted something about it on my blog, but he's exactly the same. Only more makeup.

10:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was truly disgusted by the Love Monkey. Why was she the high light of the show? My young niece watches this show and this foul mouth, half dressed person is in now way an examlpe of an American Idol. She was a disgrace to our country and to the African American race. If this keeps your rating up you just lost my vote.

7:56 AM  
Blogger Zak said...

I am fascinated by Kellie Pickler's "best friends" featured at the end of her audition. They appear to be about 10-15 years older than her. Who are they? Why doesn't she have any friends her own age?

8:12 AM  

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