Thursday, December 29, 2005

Guarini is the NEW Norah Jones?

So I was perusing MSNBC (I know, I don't know how that happened either) and I discovered that the news site is running a series of very exciting update reports on what the Idols have been up to. Each week, there will be a new story covering a season of the Idol.

There have been two reports posted so far. The story on Season 2 didn't contain anything that we didn't already know, but the story on Season 1 was very illuminating!

It included the following "juicy" tidbits:

Tamyra was dropped by her original label for being "difficult!"

Kelly is going on tour in the UK and Ireland!

AND best of all...the newly shorn Justin Guarini has self-released a new "jazz" album.



On Justin's new official website, you can purchase the album through PayPal for the low low price of $16.49 (shipping and handling included)!



You can also download a couple of snippets of the album, including the Guarini's interpretation of "My Funny Valentine."



As most of my friends know, I was never a fan of the Guarini...and after listening to all of these clips, I still don't think I am...BUT I do have to say that the Guarini's "My Funny Valentine" contains 95 percent LESS SMARM than the Constantine Maroulis version.


However, I was VERY disappointed that MSNBC failed to mention RJ Helton's burgeoning Christian Music career...so I quickly rushed over to RJ's official website, RJHelton.com, to see what RJ had been up to lately. It was then that I discovered that the site was no longer working!

And then...when I went to Gospocentric's official website (RJ's record label), there was absolutely no mention of RJ!

Luckily, the official RJ Helton fan club site is still up and running. Supposedly, RJ is going to be releasing a new album in 2006. The "RJ-holics" have posted a couple of new tunes for everyone's listening pleasure.

It was then that things fell into place. One of the songs posted is entitled "Hot" and it's very Jim Verraros-eque in tone. It's all about RJ's body next to someone else's...and how HOT that is...

So, I guess RJ is dropping the good little Christian boy act and turning into another watered-down-R.Kelly-wannabe.

Here's to hoping RJ starting singing songs about being trapped in the closet...because THAT would be really "HOT."

It's a Belated Christmas

Thanks to his My Space profile, I have discovered that the Idol 3 Mormon finalist Jon Peter Lewis (aka: JPL) has released a Christmas-themed single in Canada, imaginatively titled"It's Christmas."

And guess what?



It's better than that Xmas muzak junk that Kimberley Locke unleashed on the world a couple of weeks ago!

CLICK HERE to see JPL perform an acoustic version of his Canadian "hit."


BONUS: Download JPL's surprisingly enjoyable, non-Christmas related song...

"Stories from Hollywood" - Jon Peter Lewis

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Enjoy the wonders of Baby V...again!

Fox Reality Channel is re-airing the Idol 4 starting Saturday, January 7th through Tuesday, January 17th! The episodes are going to feature NEW interviews with everyone's favorite Idol 4 contestants!

Hi...it's all VERY exciting!

Monday, December 26, 2005

She STILL ain't in Chectoah anymore

Congrats to Idol 4 winner Miss Carrie Underwood...for being named OKLAHOMAN OF THE YEAR!!!


Maybe someday I can be named Delawarean of the Year...although I'm pretty that's never going to happen unless I can become the NEW Clay Aiken. And even then, I'm not so sure I would be a lock. After spending numerous hours chillin' at the SuperWalmart in Camden-Wyoming, I've discovered that there would definitely be some very stiff competition in these here parts...

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy Holidays!!!



Merry Chrismukkwanza TO ALL (including Kelly's two "gospel" choir back-up singers)!

xo,
judge jru

Saturday, December 24, 2005

All Clay Wants for Chrismukkah...

Oh Conan...





...you are TOO much.

(Link via Just Jared)

Friday, December 23, 2005

I don't have time for this!

According to recent reports...during the semifinal round, the Idol is going to air on Tuesday, Wednesday, AND Thursday.

Seriously...I think my TiVo is going to explode.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Bo loses to Carrie...again!

Bo sold 227,000 copies of his debut album this past week!

But here's the thing...

Carrie's album, in it's fifth week, sold 271,000 copies.


Poor Bo!

First, the intestines.

And now, THIS!

The Seacrest is a MACHINE...

...and he must be stopped.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Since U Been Hip

The arbiters of hip...the kings of cool...the music critics that make you feel like the kid that ate his lunch alone in the corner of the cafeteria...(a.k.a.: Pitchfork)...have declared Miss Kelly Clarkson's song "Since U Been Gone to be the fourth best single of 2005.



Yes, yes...I know the song was released in November of 2004...but who am I to argue with the Pariahs of Musictown?

CONGRATS KELLY!!!

And remember...judge jru thought you were cool first!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Get Well Soon Bo!

Bo Bice's intestines have got "problems."

Sunday, December 18, 2005

judge jru's Dreamz

As previously mentioned, I am very VERY excited about the upcoming new movie, "American Dreamz." The film is written and directed by Paul Weitz and it's been described on IMDB as "A satire of American identity, based around the wildly popular television singing contest called American Dreamz."

Did I mention that the film stars one of my favorite musical poptrashtic personalities of all time...MANDY MOORE???

The trailer
has now premiered online and the film looks to be as much fun as I hoped it would be...but I'm going to try not to get TOO excited...because as we have learned in the past, don't judge a film by it's trailer.

But then again, how can you NOT be excited after seeing the following...



George Bush, is that you?



Dick Cheney, is that you?



Simon Cowell, is that you?



American Idol Stage, is that you?



Tamyra, is that you?



Bo Bice, is that you?



Kelly Clarkson, is that you?



Harold and Kitty, is that you?



Hi...I don't know if I told you this, but I couldn't BE more excited for this movie if I tried!!!

The Locke is Tops!

As y'all may know, I'm a HUGE fan of the Kimberley Locke.

Loved her on the Idol. Loved her hit single "8th World Wonder." Loved her performance at Popstarz.


But seriously...what is up with Kimberley lately?

She just unleashed a new tune on the world of Adult Contemporary Radio...a truly hideous remake of the Xmas Classic, "Up on the Housetop!"

It sounds like Kidz Bop...only without the cool kitschy hipster factor.

Yet somehow...it's #1 on Billboard's Adult Contemporary airplay chart this week!


I was carrying around a backpack full of shame for Kimberley...for all of three minutes, because then...I found her latest celeb-blog entry about her cats -- complete with a picture collage!



Anyone
who geeks out and devotes an entire blog entry to their cats is tops in my book.

Welcome back from the "dark place" Kimberley!

Welcome back.


(Did I just use the words "tops in my book" to describe someone? I have been back home in Delaware for less than three hours...and I'm already talking like my parents. Someone send help. Please.)

Still hating him like poison...



According to his recent interview with MTV.com, the Smirking Menace is VERY excited for his new sitcom deal. Apparently, he's hoping for "Roseanne"-type success...but frankly, the most Constantine can hope for is an "Emeril"-type disastrophe.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

This isn't a Kelly Clarkson fansite...seriously.

I just realized that this blog has been TOTALLY Clarkson-Centric lately...so in order to compensate...here are some scans of the CD artwork from Bo's new album...







Bo's outfit and unfinished brick wall setting totally says "Rolling Stone," but his puppy-dog eyes scream "Bop."

Kelly Didn't Steal Your Boyfriend!

As previously reported, Kelly's new relationship is out of the proverbial closet...and US Weekly is just one of the many tabloids picking up the story...



When Kelly makes a reference to "[crappy] past relationships," do you think there might be a chance that she is talking about her disastrophe with the Guarini???

(Scan via The Daily Zak)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Kelly Hearts Jesus, Naked Women, and Free Therapy

As previously reported, Kelly Clarkson has been named "WOMAN OF THE YEAR" by Blender magazine.

Here are some scans of the "crazy prom queen" themed photo shoot...







Cute, eh?


And then if that isn't enough Kelly for you, here are some unbelievably ridiculous quotes from Kelly's interview...







I seriously think the good folks at Blender were trying their hardest to make Kelly seem edgy...and somehow it just makes MY Kelly look a little crazy.

I don't care for it.

I don't care for it at all.


For the scans of the full article, click here...then here...and then here....and then finally click here.


(Photos via JJB)

Monday, December 12, 2005

Kelly's Concert Costumes

Check out Kelly's new concert wardrobe...

Minus the see through nature of the top, this first ensemble isn't half bad.



She is still pulling out that tired wedding dress from her "Behind These Hazel Eyes" video...



And don't even get me started on the giant 20 foot long scarf...



Seriously?



Maybe her neck was very cold...or something...

(Pics via JJB)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Bo Bifffffffs!

So I got my hands on the brand new Bo Bice CD a few days before it officially "drops." And well, Bo seriously dropped the proverbial ball on this one.

The CD has no standout tracks. No knock your socks off rockers. Just middle of the road roots rock-lite pap. As a whole, the album sounds like a compilation of all the songs that Gavin DeGraw rejected for being TOO wimpy.



Don't believe me? Just take a moment to download Bo's new single...


"The Real Thing" - Bo Bice


I can't believe I'm saying this...but Carrie the Country Cyborg's CD is a million times better than this crapola.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Two Time Reality TV Loser is the NEW Tarzan

Pretty-boy Josh Strickland (a manboy that didn't even make it to the semi-final round of the Idol 2) has been cast as the lead in the upcoming Broadway version of the Disney animated musical version of "Tarzan."



Additional trivia about Josh...he also competed in a preliminary round of the latest incarnation of Star Search...and lost to the Idol 4's Nadia Turner.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

And the Grammy Award goes to...

...Kelly Clarkson?

CONGRATS KELLY on your multiple Grammy nominations (including Best Pop Vocal Album and Best Female Pop Vocal Performance)!!!

Who would have thunk that a girl from Texas that won a reality tv show talent competition would have the chance to join the prestigious ranks of such Grammy Award Winners as Milli Vanilli and Xtina Aguilera?


And...CONGRATS also go out to Miss Fantasia for being nominated for two awards of her very own...although strangely enough..."Baby Mama" wasn't amongst the nominees for Song of the Year.

Jennifer Hudson is telling you...

...that she is NOT going anywhere!

The new teaser for the silver screen version of the Broadway musical "Dreamgirls" is now online.

Check it out by clicking HERE.

The teaser trailer is nothing more than a bunch of blue colored shots of sassy ladies in sequins...with a mysterious voice singing the knock-down, drag-out power ballad, "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going."

I'm 98 percent positive that the voice we hear is the Idol 3's very own Jennifer Hudson, since it is her character's song.

Woo gurrl...can SANG!

And so...in honor of that impressive performance...I've fixed the teaser poster for "Dreamgirls."

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Bo Bice was "big" in '05

According to VH1, Bo Bice is the BIGGEST Reality Star of 2005.



Congrats Bo on beating out the TOUGH competition!



Hmm...I wonder if Danny, Bobby, and Bo got together after the show and talked about their "misunderstandings" with the law...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

COPS : American Idol Edition

NO LONGER BREAKING NEWS...

Idol 2 finalist Julia DeMato was arrested for drunk driving and drug possession this weekend in Connecticut. Police said that a search of her SUV found two marijuana pipes, a small quantity of marijuana and a baggie with a small amount of white powder that tested positive for cocaine.



CLICK HERE to read all about how this whole bit is a "misunderstanding."

(Thanks to Brent)

Monday, December 05, 2005

Happy One Year Anniversary Kelly!!!

Just look at what Kelly has done now...

Kelly Clarkson's phenomenal RCA Records album "Breakaway" celebrates its first anniversary on the Billboard album chart with an amazing 52-week run in the top 20. The quadruple-platinum album, fueled by four No. 1 smash singles, has never left the top 20, a very rare feat on The Billboard 200. She's one of only four artists in Sound Scan history to debut in the Top 20 and stay there for a year straight, and is the first artist in over 5 years to accomplish this.

CLICK HERE to read all of Kelly's kick-ass stats!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Make Bo Sing for his Rockin' Xmas Supper

On December 11th, Idol 4 runner-up Bo Bice will join Joan "One of Us" Osbourne for a once-in-a-lifetime holiday concert on the Oxygen Network.



CLICK HERE to vote on which holiday songs you want to hear Mr. Bice sing as a part of his "holiday set."

I don't know about you...but I am very upset that I can't make Bo sing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus." Now THAT would make it a holiday concert to remember.

Friday, December 02, 2005

A Free Trip to London

Check out whose new song, "Scandalous," is FREE on the iTunes Music Store this week...



...why it's the Idol 3's very own Miss LaToya London!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Idol Stays Put

Despite rumors that the results show was moving to Thursday night, FOX announced that the Idol is sticking to it's one-two programming punch of Tuesday night performance show/Wednesday night results show.

According to Google over 81 Newspapers and online entertainment news websites have reported on this "announcement," as if it was a REAL news worthy story.

The Washington Post
makes fun of the fact that everyone is making this bit out to be a news story...yet they still report on the non-story.


It's official...Idol 5-mania has begun.