Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Gayest. Episode. Ever.


1) Scott Savol ("The Impossible Dream" from Man of La Mancha) - I never thought I'd say this, but where's Robert Goulet when you need him?

2) Constantine Maroulis ("My Funny Valentine" from Babes in Arms) - This week...the worst Idol contestant ever attempted to seduce the camera and the audience with his rendition of a Frank Sinatra standard. The judges loved it, but the only thing Constantine's performance did for me was give me a massive case of indigestion.

3) Carrie Underwood ("Hello, Young Lovers" from The King and I) - Carrie is super cute...but she's kind of like the boring version of Kelly Clarkson.

4) Vonzell Solomon ("People" from Funny Girl) - Again...totally loving the Vonzell.

5) Anthony Fedorov ("Climb Ev'ry Mountain" from The Sound of Music) - To use my little sister's words: "gayest Idol performance ever."

6) Nikko Smith ("One Hand, One Heart" from West Side Story) - Week after week, I'm still amazed that Nikko is still around.

7) Anwar Robinson ("If Ever I would Leave You" from Camelot) - For the second time tonight, I'm feeling nostalgic for Mr. Robert Goulet. What's become of me? And more importantly, what's become of the Idol?

8) Bo Bice ("Corner of the Sky" from Pippin) - What's wrong with Bo? Why didn't he perform something 'rockin' from Rent? Or Tommy? Or HAIR? But...Pippin? REALLY??? Bo...I know Ben Vereen. I used to watch Mr. Vereen on "Zoobilee Zoo." And you sir, are no Ben Vereen.

9) Nadia Turner ("As Long as He Needs Me" from Oliver!) - Remember when I used to like Nadia? Remember when her performances didn't remind me of some bad drag queen version of Jessye Norman? Yeah...that was a while ago.


Vonzell, Vonzell, Vonzell...again.


Anthony Fedorov, Scott Savol, and Anwar Robinson


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ben Vereen did not sing "Corner of the Sky" in "Pippin" - it was John Rubinstein who played the lead character. Ben Vereen played "Leading Player". I just had to clarify as this is one of my favorite musicals. Either way, I didn't like Bo's performance and unfortunately I agree with what Simon had to say last night - his last two performances have been mediocre. Someone at my work commented that it seems he's not really into the competition anymore. He almost looks bored. Bummer. Because I really want to like him!

7:13 AM  
Blogger laura said...

good call on the fact that bo should have sung something from Hair--with the odd choice of musical selections, could it have possibly been an issue getting rights?

8:01 AM  
Blogger Harry said...

Funny that you thought Anthony Fedorov's performance was the "gayest ever." I thought the exact opposite. I personally felt like I was at a Christian revival show. Totally freaked me out.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Goldgrif said...

* Scott -- I saw someone who looks suspiciously like him driving a hog truck on I-70
* Constantine -- Not quite as gay as Freddie Mercury, but close.
* Carrie -- Mrs. Cleaver before Wally and the Beav. That's why Ward married her.
* Vonzell -- She doesn't have IT. You know, IT. Yawn.
* Anthony -- Looks like a chubby Andrei Kirilenko. Neither one can sing.
* Nikko -- Bye Nikko. Now you know why baseball players don't try to sing the National Anthem. They'd get voted out of the game.
* Anwar -- Lionel Richie with dreds.
* Bo -- So that's what Bob Seger looks like shaved.
* Nadia -- Angry. Angrier. Angriest. Aunt Tina would be proud.

Please America, it's time to get rid of the truck-drivin', wife-beatin', song murdering Scott Savol.

10:19 AM  
Blogger joy said...

Just an brilliant one!!, I highly recommend it.If you really want to find a real SUPERSTAR in American Idol, STOP the phone calls and let the JUDGES decide!This show will go down the drain if that little squirrel wins this! so pleez let the judges to do the honours...

11:02 PM  

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