Wednesday, March 23, 2005

How to love a mohawk...

Since the Idol gods that be have determined that the voting from Tuesday night is null and void, I have decided that I am going to pretend like that episode didn't happen. I'm going to judge tonight's episode as if it was the only one that aired.


* * *

THE TOP 11 OF THE IDOL 4 - REDUX

1) Anthony Fedorov - A lot of my gays love this boy. As for me? Not so much.

2) Carrie Underwood - Big hair. Big voice. But my reaction to this performance? Not so big.

3) Scott Savol - Congratulations Scott! You've grown a mustache smaller and creepier than John Waters.

4) Bo Bice - Bo Bice biffs.

5) Nikko Smith - Who sheds their overcoat for dramatic effect in the middle of a song anymore? It turns out that Nikko was born a few decades late.

6) Vonzell Solomon - Vonzell sang one of my all time favorite songs ("Best of My Love," by The Emotions). And I love her for it.

7) Constantine Maroulis - Open Letter to the Hated One:

Dear Constantine,

Why must you hold the microphone like a hot dog?

Hating You,
judge jru

8) Nadia Turner - Even though I watched Nadia's performance twice, I still have no idea how well she performed. I was too in love with her Mohawk.

I have one question though...why was the Mohawk for Mario? Wasn't Mario all about the hats? Is it because he is allegedly dating that hair stylist? We are ties of the lies, Nadia! We want answers! Not more questions!

9) Mikalah Gordon - I have nothing left to say about this disastrophe.

10) Anwar Robinson - How does an African-American MUSIC teacher have absolutely, positively no rhythm whatsover???

QUESTION FOR ANWAR, THE WISE: How does one "holistically" look at oneself? And how can I learn?

11) Jessica Sierra - The Neckless Wonder doesn't know how to dress, but she does know how to sing. And that's what makes me love her.


JRU VOTES

I voted a whole mess of times for Jessica AND Vonzell .

JRU PREDICTS THE BOTTOM THREE

Mikalah Gordon, Scott Savol, and Nadia Turner

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