Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The Pleather Jacket Love Story


1) Nikko Smith – If Urkel had an Extreme Makeover, he would be Nikko Smith.

2) Scott Savol – I think Scott gave a blandly decent performance…but I’m not that sure because I was too busy staring at the weird facial hair growing on Scott’s neck region.

3) Anthony Fedorov – Anthony is going to make it to the top twelve, just because he is the only cute blonde white boy around.

4) Bo Bice – The sister feels like Bo is the long lost member of the Black Crowes. She swears she could smell the petoulli through the TV.

5) Travis Tucker – Hottest guy to appear on American Idol…ever.

6) Constantine Maroulis – Worst. Idol. Contestant. Ever.

7) David Brown – After David’s performance, I began to worry that this might be the worst group of contestants yet. I wanted to like David. Really I did. But I didn't.

8) Jarred Yates – If Jon Secada had a vagina (and a uterus) and mated with RJ Helton, their baby would look something like Jarred.

9) Anwar Robinson – For his grand TV debut, Anwar wore a lopsided pleather top. And I say “top,” because this piece of clothing couldn’t decide what it wanted to be when it grows up. Is it a jacket? Or is it a shirt? Either way, it’s a total disastrophe.

10) Judd Harris – Judd Harris: Little. Tan. Oddly Sexy.

11) Joseph Murena – Soul Patch + Cartilage piercing / Mystic Tan = Still Boring

12) Mario Vazquez – Eh…the girls better be good tomorrow night or else this is going to be one loooong season of the Idol.


Bottom Two: Joseph Murena and Nikko Smith.

(Although if Constantine ends up down here, I wouldn’t object.)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey dude, check out www.votefortheworst.com
We're trying to make it so that only the sad survive on American Idol 4. Don't vote for the good or talented when you can vote for the bad singers! Check us out and let us know what you think. Thanks!

11:06 PM  

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