Monday, February 28, 2005

The Night that Paula Got a Really Bad Weave

THE TOP 10 BOYS OF THE IDOL 4

1) Mario Vazquez - The judges were impressed with Mario's performance...I wasn't.

2) Anwar Robinson - I'm over this Anwar is an inspiration to his students storyline.

3) Joseph Murena - Is it just me or does Joe look like an extra from that Night of the Roxbury movie?

4) David Brown - Hi...I'm bored.

5) Constantine Maroulis - Smarmiest. Idol Contestant. Ever.

6) Scott Savol - Hi...I'm bored again.

7) Travis Tucker - Since Travis is the sexiest contestant ever, I'm going to ignore the fact that his performance was just a wee bit mediocre.

8) OJ "Nikko" Smith - I kind of enjoy the Juice this week. Who knew?

9) Antony Fedorov - I swear to G-d that Anthony's scar was singing along during his performance. If you don't believe me, watch the scar next week...I swear this shit is true!

10) Bo Bice - Can someone please tell me how this man ended up on the Idol? Shouldn't he be on that show that is searching for America's Next Top Michael Hutchence?


JRU PREDICTS THE BOTTOM TWO GUYS

Joseph Murena and...

David Brown?

Scott Savol?

Constantine Maroulis? PLEASE!!!

They Shoot Idols Don't They?

So the idiot oddsmakers are at it again, letting people place bets on the Idol 4 horserace.


Guess who's in first?

Why it's Carrie Underwood at 11-4 odds...of course!

Mario Vazquez comes in a close second at 7-2.

Then Anwar Robinson and Vonzell Solomon are at 6-1.

Followed by Nadia Turner and Bo Bice at 10-1.

The giant known as David Brown is at 12-1.

Constantine Maroulis, Aloha Mischeaux and Amanda Avila are all at 15-1.

Suprisingly, Anthony Federov is at 18-1. (What ARE they thinking?)

Jessica Sierra, Nikko Smith, Travis Tucker, Mikalah Gordon, Scott Savol and Lindsey Cardinale are chillin' together at 25-1 odds.

That perky Celena Rae is dancing by herself at 35-1.

And poor Joseph Murena and Janay Castine are in DFL at 50-1.

Bugs, Brains, and McKibbin



TIVO ALERT!!!

Tonight...the very first AI "rocker" returns to television in a TWO hour television event!


FEAR FACTOR : REALITY "STARS" EDITION

For the record, my money is on Reichen Lehmkuhl...I mean, Reichen Burke for the win.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Heaven is...

...Kimberley Locke performing at Popstarz.



She was cute, charming, funny, and knows how to work a crowd of homos better than Tiffany AND Debbie Gibson.


UPDATE: How can you NOT love a girl that appreciates Miss Tyra?

Thursday, February 24, 2005

The Wendy Pepper Strikes Back

It was a BIG night last night on the TV.

The Project Runway finale AND the first "results show" of the Idol 4 on the same night!

What was a boy to do? (In case you didn't know, it's official...I'm a super-homo.)


The Idol kicked the night off by getting rid of not one but FOUR Idol-ites!



Jared Yates, Judd Harris, Sarah Mather, and Melinda Lira...we hardly knew ya.

Please tell Natalie Burge and Brad Estrin that we said hello.


And then, over on the Runway...Jay won!

Take that Wendy Pepper! Your evil Jedi mind tricks didn't work after all!


UPDATE: All is not lost for Lil' Judd. It turns out that he has a band to fall back on...unlike Constantine.

RUNWAY UPDATE: Look who has a pretty pretty website!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Star Search Loser--the new American Idol winner?

The Horse Whisperer



Who knew that Anatoliy "Anthony" Fedorov was so hunky and outdoorsy?

(picture via Rickey.org)

"My name is Constantine and I heart my own stank"




This picture is going to give me nightmares for weeks.

"The Dawgpound"

THE TOP TWELVE GIRLS OF THE IDOL 4

1) Vonzell Solomon - I enjoy the Vonzell, but is she really wearing some knock-off of the "terrible" pink top from Project Runway Jay's Grammy Dress ensemble? Didn't anyone read "Tim's Take" on the whole situation?

2) Amanda Avila - I know a certain someone who is probably going to end up starring in the direct-to-DVD remake of "Showgirls" (also featuring Nikki McKibbin as Crystal Connors and Frenchie Davis as Henrietta 'Mama' Bazoom).

3) Janay Castine - And now we have someone to play Molly, the sassy yet wise seamstress.

4) Carrie Underwood - Speaking as someone who actually saw Tiffany sing 'Coulda Been' only a month ago, Carrie is way better than the real thing.

5) Sarah Mather - Well, at least she's pretty.

6) Melinda Lira - I still have no idea who this girl is...

7) Nadia Turner - How did Nadia become the "rock" chick? Maybe after all this Idol craziness is over, Bo and Nadia can go perform in a traveling production of "Hair" or "Jesus Christ Superstar."

8) Celena Rae - Is it just me or did Celena get a awesomely bad nose job? The whole bit looks awfully familiar to me...

9) Mikalah Gordon - Little girls take note, because this is what happens when someone grows up idolizing Fran Drescher a little too much.

10) Lindsay Cardinale - Are you there Julia DeMato? It's me...judge jru.

11) Jessica Sierra - The girl with the red streaks came out as a full blown blonde and performed her little heart out. She was totally enjoyable, but Kelly Clarkson she ain't.

12) Aloha Mischeaux - Aloha Aloha.


JRU PREDICTS

Bottom Two: Amanda Avila and Janay Castine...Melinda Lira could end down here too.

Why I Love LA...

...because you can go to a comedy club and be in the audience with Nikko Smith's mother.

And then, the MC ends up interrogating the woman as to why her son decided to change his name from "OJ" to "Ozzy" to "Nikko."

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

The Pleather Jacket Love Story

THE TOP TWELVE BOYS OF THE IDOL 4

1) Nikko Smith – If Urkel had an Extreme Makeover, he would be Nikko Smith.

2) Scott Savol – I think Scott gave a blandly decent performance…but I’m not that sure because I was too busy staring at the weird facial hair growing on Scott’s neck region.

3) Anthony Fedorov – Anthony is going to make it to the top twelve, just because he is the only cute blonde white boy around.

4) Bo Bice – The sister feels like Bo is the long lost member of the Black Crowes. She swears she could smell the petoulli through the TV.

5) Travis Tucker – Hottest guy to appear on American Idol…ever.

6) Constantine Maroulis – Worst. Idol. Contestant. Ever.

7) David Brown – After David’s performance, I began to worry that this might be the worst group of contestants yet. I wanted to like David. Really I did. But I didn't.

8) Jarred Yates – If Jon Secada had a vagina (and a uterus) and mated with RJ Helton, their baby would look something like Jarred.

9) Anwar Robinson – For his grand TV debut, Anwar wore a lopsided pleather top. And I say “top,” because this piece of clothing couldn’t decide what it wanted to be when it grows up. Is it a jacket? Or is it a shirt? Either way, it’s a total disastrophe.

10) Judd Harris – Judd Harris: Little. Tan. Oddly Sexy.

11) Joseph Murena – Soul Patch + Cartilage piercing / Mystic Tan = Still Boring

12) Mario Vazquez – Eh…the girls better be good tomorrow night or else this is going to be one loooong season of the Idol.


JRU’S PREDICTION

Bottom Two: Joseph Murena and Nikko Smith.

(Although if Constantine ends up down here, I wouldn’t object.)

How to REALLY feel like you've done nothing with your life

WARNING: THIS STORY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH AMERICAN IDOL

Somehow in the midst of the torrential storms in LA, I stumbled into Amoeba Records and discovered that the band simply known as "Smoosh" was performing live.

At first, I thought they were Hanson, but then they turned out to be honest-to-god girls. They sounded like Keane meets Tori Amos, with a little Vanessa Carlton and Belle & Sebastian thrown in for good measure.



As I was paying for yet another used CD that I didn't really need, I chatted with the world's friendliest Amoeba store clerk about the ages of band members.

As it turns out, the lead singer/keyboardist is ONLY 12...and the drummer is ONLY 10.

Did I mention that they write their own songs and have opened for Pearl Jam and Jimmy Eat World?

If you want to hear just what "Smoosh" is all about, download this:

"Massive Cure" - Smoosh


I need to go write a novel or something.

Seriously.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Extreme Makeover: Homo Edition

The Verraros has updated his website with new pictures.




Nothing says "i'm a classy serious artist" like sticking a chandelier in the background and a giant arty flare in the foreground.

And if that isn't enough Verraros for you, check out one of his new songs that will be featured on his debut CD that is "dropping" on April 26, 2005:

"You're Getting Crazy" - Jim Verraros

Hi Crazy!

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Meet the Finalists


The profiles of the Top 24 finalists are up on the official American Idol webpage.

It is in these pages that you can discover, who has a secret crush on Ryan Seacrest, who still listens to Michael Bolton, and why I still have no idea who Melinda Lira is.


In other news, I got a shout out on the hipest new entertainment blog.

Hi, now I finally know what it's like to feel cool.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Where the F*** is Frenchie's album?



How can this boy be releasing an album?

On Madonna's record label?

Called "RED"???


If you feel like taking a quick catnap, check out:


"Come Fly with Me" - John Stevens


Frankly, if I'm in the mood to listen to some modern crooning, I prefer the infinitely more talented Michael Bublé.

I must admit that I hated the Bublé for quite a while. I even turned down free tickets to see him perform at the Hollywood Bowl. And then...I heard his new single, "Feeling Good," and suddenly, my heart melted and I was his.

Hi...when did I become a forty year-old suburban soccer mom?

Thursday, February 17, 2005

The White-Washing of Anthony Fedorov

It turns out that the blonde with "miracle" voice (a.k.a.: Anthony Fedorov) changed his name for the Idol gods, just like that Trenyce.

So what is Anthony's real name?

It's 'Anatoliy'...of course.

"You're either IN or you're OUT"

I can't believe that Wendy Pepper! What a crazy beotch!

Oh wait...wrong show.


Anyways, tonight's episode of the Idol finally revealed the final 24 contestants that are still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Idol (that ANTM joke never gets old, eh?).

So below is a fully annotated list of the Good, the Great, and the Even Better.


judge jru's guide to the top 24 contestants of the Idol 4

THE BOYS

  • Anthony Fedorov--Blonde Russian Boy that has the voice of an Aiken
  • David Brown--African-American giant with shortish dreds
  • Nikko Smith--The guy that with the lucky coin
  • Mario Vasquez--Cute Latino Boy
  • Constantine Maroulis--The poser that fancies himself an authentic rocker because he was in a band once
  • Bo Bice--Long haired rocker guy that is NOT Constantine
  • Jared Yates--Multiracial curly haired boy with big brown eyes
  • Joseph Murena--Has a flavor saver that needs to be shaved off right away
  • Anwar Robinson--Music Teacher with the long dreds and bad facial hair
  • Judd Harris--Short flexible boy that does splits
  • Scott Savol--Not to sounds like a broken record...but Scott IS the White Ruben Studdard (good-ish voice, but painfully dull)
  • Travis Tucker--Really Really Good Looking.

THE GIRLS

  • Carrie Underwood--Small Town Country Gal
  • Aloha Mischeaux--Donut lovin' girl whose feet shrink when she gets nevous
  • Mikalah Gordon--Super perky gal that wears WAY too much makeup (btw, just how does this 16 year-old have a "really cool" lower back tattoo?)
  • Nadia Turner--Has Big Hair
  • Vonzell Solomon--The Postal Carrier
  • Sarah Mather--Beautiful girl with the cat-like eyes
  • Celena Rae--Kristin Holt without all the pageant training
  • Jessica Sierra--Girl with red streaks in her hair (I know...lame description, but she's giving me nothing to work with)
  • Janay Castine--Cute Af-Am girl with the nice mother
  • Lindsay Cardinale--Julia DeMato with talent
  • Melinda Lira--I have no idea who this girl is...
  • Amanda Avila--The pretty Vegas Showgirl

And, don't forget...next week, the Idol airs on MONDAY (the 12 boys perform), TUESDAY (the 12 girls perform), and WEDNESDAY (the painful results show where 2 boys and 2 girls get kicked off).

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Look Who's Acting Now

TIVO ALERT!

Tonight on that Taye Diggs show, the svelte-ish Randy Jackson pops up as a nightclub owner that can't seem to muster up enough cash to pay his legal bills.

I wonder how long it will take before "From Randy to Paula" shows up in the bargain DVD bin at Walmart...

Four Rooms

So tonight was the suspenseful "room" episode of the Idol 4.

It was all very exciting. And by very exciting, I mean not at all.

Even my 69 year-old father knew that Carrie Underwood and Anthony Fedorov were going to make it to the next round of the Idol. Sticking them in two seperate rooms turned tonight's episode into the most boring hour of reality TV since that Vecepia woman won Survivor 4.

Beyond Carrie and Anthony, I can't really remember anyone else in this year's crop of wannabes...so here is my crib sheet for a few of the other 42 contestants that are still in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Idol:
  • Mikalah Gordon--The brassy 16 year-old that wants to buy her mom a pair of fake boobies
  • Scott Savol--The White Ruben Studdard
  • Lindsey Cardinale--Julia DeMato, Version 2.0
  • Jaclyn Crum--The girl with the sick mom that cries a lot
  • Mario Vasquez--The cute Latino mama's boy
  • Matthew Kester--The boy with the bejewled booger and frosted tips
  • Vonzell--The Sassy Postwoman
  • Anwar--The guy with the dreds that are a little on the long side
  • Tammy Wynette Nash--The Latoya-London-a-like with the best first/middle name combo ever
  • and of course, Constantine--The actor that ditched his band to try and become the next Justin Guarini

There are others in the top 44 that might eventually stand out...but my guess is that one of these twelve will end up winning the Idol 4.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Tom Cruise 2: The Clay Aiken Story

Poor Poor Clay now has a gay porn star sex scandal just like Mr. Cruise!

Monday, February 14, 2005

God Bless Popstarz



Hmm...I wonder where I will be Friday, the 25th of February...

Clay needs a new roomie!

My friend just emailed me with the following story:

WEDDING BELLS
American Idol alum Kimberley Locke telling Extra she's engaged to her high school sweetheart, Don Campbell. The twosome have not set a wedding date.

This announcement almost makes me believe in love again. Almost.

File Under: Bad Idea

What is Paula thinking?

Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Did you eat Shrimps again?"

Last night, the sisters and I tried to be supportive American Idol fans by renting the modern Mormon retelling of "Pride & Prejudice," featuring AI2's Carmen Rasmusen. We got about twenty minutes into the film, before we realized that this film could only be enjoyed by only members of the Church of Latter-Day Saints.



So the big sister and I raced back to the video store and exchanged the DVD for the Brittany Murphy romantic comedy, "Little Black Book," which was better than the Mormon movie...but not by much.

SPOILER ALERT FOR THOSE THAT STILL HAVEN'T SEEN "LITTLE BLACK BOOK!"

The film ends with Brittany's character straddling Carly Simon. That's right. She doesn't get the guy...she gets Carly.

Seriously.


At the end of the night, the entire family gathered to watch Jason Bateman and Kelly Clarkson on SNL. Not only did Kelly perform two songs ("Since U Been Gone" AND "Breakaway"), but she made cameos in two skits...where she sang.

In one skit, Kelly played a blind talented homeless girl and in the other, she played a talented hootchie mama who gets mad at her zaftig boyfriend for eating shrimp.

Genius!

Here's to hoping that Kelly's next visit to SNL involves her being the musical guest AND the host, because anything Britney can do...Kelly can do better.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Best SNL episode of the season?



Yo Kelly...we're very happy that you are a blonde now...but keep your hands off my MAN!

PS: The big sis and I are still lovin' your album! Can "Walk Away" be the next single PLEASE?

(Thanks to Trent for screencap!)

Friday, February 11, 2005

Where in the World is Kurt Nilsen?

Unbeknownst to North America (and five other continents), the one and only WORLD IDOL, Kurt Nilsen, has released a second album.

Check out the video for his new song, "My Street."



Sigh...I could swim in Kurt's velvety voice for hours. It's a shame about those rubbish lyrics.

Why can't they hook my Norweigan brother up with a couple of Kelly's kick-ass producers/songwriters?

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Professor Coldheart can't keep this Care Bear down

CARRIE WATCH '05 continues as the Checotah native makes it past the "group audition" bit on the Idol.


In other news, Ben Affleck REALLY loves his gay cousin.


Wednesday, February 09, 2005

You know you're having a bad day when...

...Ryan Seacrest makes you feel inadequate.

How is he only 29?

You're Going to Hollywood!

judge jru's recap of the first "American Idol boot camp" episode of the Idol 4

8:01pm--Somehow the fact that Mary Roche hasn't been crowned the new William Hung makes me feel like America has come a long way since the red state election disaster of 2004.

8:02pm--I still hate those Molfetta twins...even if there is only one of them left. Why do I continue to put myself through this torture?

8:05pm--Oh wait...there is Carrie Underwood. I do enjoy her. Her country girl schtick is a bit tired.

8:05.5pm--Forget what I just said...Carrie Underwood just brought us the BEST BIT OF AMERICAN IDOL BANTER EVER!!!

Below is a semi-accurate transcription of what just transpired:

RYAN SEACREST: A lot of people take pictures of the sidewalk, the stars.
CARRIE UNDERWOOD: Not me.
RYAN: The sign...you take picture of the trees.
CARRIE: Palm trees.
RYAN: Any of the stars? Have you see any of the stars?
CARRIE: It's been pretty cloudy.

8:09pm--Anthony "Tracheotomy" Fedorov is a cuter version of Clay Aiken with a more interesting medical history. Do you think HOUSE could have helped him?

8:11pm--No American Idol tour of LA is complete without a trip to..."The Grove!"

8:12pm--Poor Shunta...struck with an unfortunate name and stuck in an unforunate situation (she accidently got on the the bus to the Grove instead of the bus to auditions).

8:16pm--Rashida Johnson lost her voice yet somehow manages to shake it off and make it to the next round. It's an American Idol miracle! Just like Anthony Federov!

8:17pm--That poor Shunta...still stuck at the Grove.

8:18pm--Lindsay Cardinale seems pretty good...even if she looks a little too much like Julia DeMato for my taste.

8:21pm--Oh boy...the Molfetta is back. He is so SMARMY it hurts my insides.

8:22pm--Thank GOD the Molfetta is gone!

8:23pm--Shunta is STILL on her way back from the Grove. If only Jack Bauer was her taxi driver...then we could have watched her race to downtown LA in "real time."

8:28pm--Jeff the preacher doesn't make it to the next round. It's official: Simon, Randy, and Paula hate Jesus!

8:29pm--Shunta finally arrives at the Orpheum theater...

8:30pm--...and makes it to the next round!

8:31pm--The sold-my-wedding-ring girl Regina Brooks lost 40 pounds since her first audition!!! Hi...she REALLY wants to be on the Idol.

8:33pm--And after all that...Regina doesn't make it. Congratualations American Idol producers! Once again you've wasted my time, making care about someone that I'm not going to remember by the time we get to Motown week.

8:39pm--Farmboy Patrick Norman bugs.

8:40pm--Francisco Torres carries around a sweat towel. Just like Whitney!

8:43pm--How did Tour Group #2 get to go see "the OC" soundstage while Tour Group #1 only got The Grove??? If I was in Tour Group #1, I would demmand to get a chance to scribble something down on House's dry erase board before I let myself continue to be in the running towards becoming America's Next Top American Idol.

8:49pm--Constantine is back. Hi, I'm super bored by the whole rocker thing.

8:51pm--Blue-haired Briana is out...and that makes me sad. She was the cutest goth ever!

8:52pm--Mikalah Gordon (aka: I wanna buy my mom boob implants girl) is super crazy. She is the most aggressively cheerful person I've ever not met.

8:57pm--Single Mom Marlea decides to leave on her own accord. Bully for her!

8:58pm--My woman Jennifer Todd makes it to the next round!!!

8:59pm--Only 97 people left! Is there a Kelly or Fantasia among them? Or will we be stuck with another Ruben?


Tomorrow night is the group performance bit. Here's to hoping that there will be at least one Frenchie/Kimberly Locke worthy performance and a whole mess of Julia DeMato/Kimberly Caldwell fiascos!

Simon fingers a favorite



Simon has announced that Carrie Underwood is one of the Idol 4 favorites.

The "Claymates" better watch their backs, because there is a new gang in town...and they are called "The Care Bears."

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Idol tidbits

Those Crazy Canadians love Paula more than they love watching Bud Light commercials!

** Conundrum of the Day: How does one relay a "bold message for Christ" on the same network that airs "The Littleist Groom" and "Who's Your Daddy?"

Monday, February 07, 2005

C'mon ride the Fantasia!

As I was trolling the web for the latest on the Baby Mama uproar, I discovered that the indomitable Fantasia is cohosting the Soul Train Awards on Feb. 28.

And just who are her fellow co-hosts?

Brian McKnight, Nick Cannon, and Nicole Richie...of course!

Diana DeNoNo

Surprising no one...Simon announces that he HATES Diana DeGarmo.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Project: America's Next Top Paula

Paula (among other celebs) worked the runway this weekend for a heart disease charity.



Congratulations Paula...you're-still in-the-running-towards-becoming-America's-Next-Top-Celebrity-Charity-Model.

But you best be careful of that Vannessa L. Williams...she totally outshone you in this runway challenge.

I suggest that you give Miss J. Alexander a call before Heidi Klum decides that you are "out."

(Thanks to Trent for this story)

Clay has a hard day

There is a man, by the name of Peter Howell that reviews movies for the Canadian newspaper known as "The Toronto Star."

This man...this Peter Howell...is a genius.

Need evidence?

Take a gander at the first two lines from his review of "Boogeyman" (the new horror film starring that guy that married the rabbi's daughter on "7th Heaven"):

"The boogeyman has been scaring young children for so long, it only seems right that he should finally get his own feature-length horror movie.

But here's the deal. It's really hard to build an entire film around someone hiding in the closet, unless you're making Clay Aiken's life story."



Hi...I heart Peter Howell.


In other news, I just got home from a party where someone swore to me that his ex's best friend had boring bland vanilla gay sex with the Aiken, after chatting with him on gay.com



Somehow...Clay Aiken has become the new Tom Cruise.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Paula's Grand Return to "Acting"

TIVO ALERT:

Tonight, Paula Abdul continues her neverending publicity tour with a guest starring spot in the unforunately titled ABC sitcom, "Less Than Perfect."

Paula will be playing Kathleen, Will Butler's girlfriend and art gallery owner.

"Touched By Evil 2" can't be far behind.

Baby Mama Fever Begins...

This week's Billboard Hot 100 singles chart contains a couple of Idol items of note.

First off, Kelly Clarkson has not one, but TWO singles in the top 10 ("Since U Been Gone" is at No. 9 and "Breakaway" continues to hold in there at No. 10).

Meanwhile, a little bit further down the chart, Fantasia's "Baby Mama" debuts at No. 99.

I'm hoping this means that the powers that be have decided to make a "Baby Mama" music video...

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Wylde Idol

Is anyone honestly surprised by this?

The Six Dollar Paula

Did anyone else catch the extraordinary Miss Paula Abdul on The Daily Show tonight?



Thanks to that very special State of the Union night appearance, we now know that the "Rush Rush" songstress used to work at Contempo Casual, Burger King AND Carl's Jr.

And about that SF episode of the Idol 4 that aired tonight...I got nothing.

But...

THANK GOD WE ARE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!!!


UPDATE: To check out a video clip of Paula's overly taut face desperately trying to banter with Jon Stewart, click here.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Double Trouble: Orlando and Cleveland

judge jru's minute-by-minute commentary of the Cleveland/Orlando episode of the Idol 4

8:01pm--Ryan Seacrest self-identifies himself as a DJ? I guess that's slightly better than identifying oneself as a poor man's Carson Daly.

8:02pm--LL Cool J is the guest judge. He's so pretty that I have forgiven him for the smart shark movie.

8:03pm--Jaclyn Crum has the most hideous Lee Press-On-Nails I have EVER seen.

8:04pm--I love that Simon just referred to Mr. Cool J as "LL."

8:08pm--sister ru wants me to do a shout out to Mr. World Idol (Kurt 'Hobbit' Nilsen). What happened to him? Is he too busy protecting the "ring" from that flaming vagina known as the eye of S...S...OMG, my nerd posse is going to hate me forever.

8:13pm--Scott Savol has tiny hands...

8:14pm--...but not a tiny voice.

8:15pm--LL is a little too sensitive Tony Robbins-ish for me.

8:16pm--Me thinks that "Son of the Mask" is going to suck more than "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2."

8:20pm--Why hasn't there been a horror movie about killer mimes yet?

8:22pm--And can someone please tell me why Ryan Seacrest is walking through the amber waves of grain?

8:23pm--Oh...I get it...Ryan was "forshadowing" the entrance of Patrick "Farm Boy" Norman. Fun.

8:33pm--Briana Davis is like Rainbow Brite's opera singing, Evanescence obsessed older sister.

8:36pm--Did Paula just say something that actually made sense? Is Anthony Fedorov the blonde Russian Clay Aiken?

8:37pm--I'm so over Anthony's tracheotomy bit already. I wonder if Ryan will bring it up again...and again...and again.

8:42pm--FILLER ALERT: Ryan Seacrest in Orlando montage

8:47pm--Who names their child Vonzell?

8:53pm--I wonder if HOUSE will be bitter and sarcastic to one of his clinic patients tonight?

8:56pm--Paula is threatening to quit. Hm...I wonder if she will.

8:59pm--I hate the F***ING MOLFETTA BROTHERS! They make me nostalgic for LMNT.

And now for something completely different...

I know...I know...this is supposed to an American Idol ONLY blog and all. BUT I just got back from a wicked awesome Scissor Sisters concert, where the opening act (hey willpower) made me happy in all of my special areas.



There were backup dancers. SYNCHRONIZED BACKUP DANCERS!

And as everyone knows, I'm a whore for synchronized anything.

I loved every minute of them.

And their music was pretty darn good too, just check out a couple of their indie pop tunes:

hey willpower - Double Fantasy II

hey willpower - Uh Uh Uh

Needless to say, I'm very excited that they are coming back to town in a couple of weeks.


And if you must get an American Idol fix, you might want to head over to VH1.com and check out Kelly Clarkson's live performances of a bunch of her brilliant tracks from the best album an American Idol contestant has ever produced.